The s(ex) tapes

Shh... Don't Say It

Shannon POV:

Today's video is going to be hard, i'm calling it now in my head before we even start. This song is about the not so easy parts of our relationship, the points when we were not together, and seeing other people, and it doesn't help that its 102 fucking degrees out.

"Are you ready for today bub" cari asks

"Not really, but lets just get on with it"

"Bob and Dad are outside setting up the sheet, i'm gonna finish my makeup, can you go see if they're okay once you have your camera ready?"

"woah what are those boots babe! you look like your off to fight some wars" i giggled

" but yeah,  i'll head out now, don't take too long, it's too hot to be dilly dallying today"

...

"My boob sweat is just too much, we have to cut around this" Cari complained

"can we grab that chair, we can get some cool shots using that" i recommended

we had been shooting for about two hours, and i swear all that both of us did was complain, this shoot wasn't the most enjoyable on yet. For some reason, i felt like there was some tension, i think we could both feel it. i think it was the song, but neither of us mentioned it.

"hey hey shan, video me with this statue over here"

I know she was trying to lighten the mood, but some of these shots actually looked quite good

"keep doing that, but more serious, these shots could work"

...

I was fixing something in the set and Cari was looking through the footage, and for some reason i had the urge to break the silence. 

"Hey, um, i have a question"

"yup" cari said, without looking up from the camera

"did you, um, see anyone when we were broken up? who is this song about? we have talked about me, but we never talked about you"

"i could sense something was on your mind. to answer your question, yes, but nothing serious, at all, well, they wanted it to be, but i just wasn't ready for that or even looking for that. i mean, it was exactly what i wrote in the song, 'let's make out,  but I'll make it clear, not lookin' for something' "

"oh, i see, do i know them?" i said, feeling a pit in my stomach. i felt mad, but why, i did the same thing.

"no, God no, it was just a girl that i met at a christmas party."

During that conversation we made little eye contact, i was looking at the ground, twiddling my thumbs, whilst cari was pretending to be emerged in the camera.

"it's over, though, shannon, well it was never a thing in the first place, but that phase is long gone" Cari said, finally putting the camera down and walking over to me.

"i just cant help but feel like this process is nothing but pain. we are just hurting each-other in order to pursue our individual creative passions, and that doesn't seem right to me" i said, fiddling with the bottom of my t shirt.

"it's part of the process, we get to make something beautiful out of that pain, it's better than sitting sulking about it. and hey, broken hearts do create the best art" cari said, gripping my fiddling hands in hers.

"its ok to feel these things, shannon, and its ok to ask me these questions"

"ok, i know. i think we have all the footage for today, lets head inside, its too hot."

Cari POV:

i thought i handled that pretty well, but shannon still seems off, she diddnt really say much.