Behind the cameras : jikook fan fiction (BTS)

I'm sorry......for everything.

It was cold. He could feel the chills even through his bones. He KNOWS he have to head inside. If he was to catch a cold it would be a downfall to all of their schedules.
But yet he sat there. On the balcony, in the dark. Hours ago He ran out of the room in his shorts and a vest thinking it would make him escape.....again.

From here, He could hear his hyung's voice very clearly. A main reason he favoured this spot. He could feel his heart break into pieces with every single sob that escapes the said boy's lips. He have done it again..... there's no explanation why...he just finds it easier to push him away and hide himself behind this facade.

He just sat there... minutes... hours.... Then the sobs finally died down.
'Hyung must be asleep' he thought.
So he heads in.

The view made his heart clench tightly.
Jimin.....
His loving and caring jiminie hyung was in a corner of the couch.... sleep has taken over the overly exhausted body after a long night of crying his heart out. He was still hugging himself. As he was stepping closer Jungkook could faintly see the wetness that paints his cheeks. 

He grabbed a blanket that was near by and tucked him in. Sitting next to him after.
He has the urge to hug his hyung. To say that he's too precious to be hurting because of him. Or because of what people have been sprouting at him. He reaches out a hesitant hand to wipe the stains of tears off jimin's face. Once he touches him though, his mind doesn't want to stop.
The sane part of him reminds him that he shouldn't, but he's in too much pain to think straight. The only one that could make him feel better is his jiminie hyung. And he wants to be selfish for once again. So he slides under the sheet hesitantly, making sure not to wake the boy.
He stares down at the beauty jimin is. He feels like the worst douche bag on earth to hurt his pure heart. All the memories since day one about jimin is precious to him. He's been the reason he was able to adjust into this hectic life away from his family. The comfort jimin offered was limitless.

But when he was supposed to be there for him and make him feel better , to make him feel worthy and to comfort him in return, he instead hurt him more.  Only he knows that his words means nothing like that but he wouldn't be able to explain it either.

___flashback___

It was only the maknaes in the dorm today.
Jimin have been out of it since all the hate he received from so called fans. And he had just came back from the hospital. He had collapsed during the practice because of going on days without a proper meal.
So the maknaes was in charge of making him rest and feel better. But jimin have Decided to put up a happy facade around the members so that he won't get all the pitiful services.
Taehyung have suggested to order something and to catch up.
It was getting on jungkook's nerves how taehyung have been taking jimin's attention away from him.

As they were watching a movie the the food was delivered and being the bubbly self he was, jimin took the order and paid the man.
Jimin was all about fun when it was with the younger ones. So he decided to feed the both of them. Which taehyung tried to resist and the little fight resulted in him sitting on taehyung's lap. He giggled as he succeeded in feeding tae.

And jungkook who came out from the restroom had only seen HIS jiminie hyung feeding tae while sitting on his lap.
His heart dropped and he could literally feel it at the pit of his stomach. And his anxiety wasn't helping at all. He could hear all these Voices in his head saying that jimin loves taehyung more. That he cares for him more.  'ofcourse they have known each other for so long' 'taehyung have always been first in jimin's eyes' 'taehyung isn't a pain in ass like you' 'you brought this up upon yourself' his mind goes.
His mind was a mess and jimin's giggles made it worse. He clenched his fists. He could feel his blood boiling. But he had to calm down. This is family. He is younger and he had to respect hyungs.
As he was trying to control himself he could see jimin walking to him, to feed him he realised. His face was decorated with the prettiest eye smile and he was looking like a literal angel. He could feel the fluttering of his heart. It almost feels like he's on some kind of drug when jimin's so close to him. But his head was hazy. All the frustration he's trying to calm down and the things jimin is making
Him feel kept getting intense that he couldn't take it. It was so overwhelming.

And jimin was ready to feed him. ''jungkookie open up~" he sing-songs.
Before anyone in the room could process what happened jungkook have slapped jimin's hand away which results in the spilled food.
"You're annoying! Look at yourself! go away!" says jungkook before running out of the room.

Jungkook could swear that he saw tears in jimin's eyes. It hurt but he was hurting too. He couldn't take it that he snapped.

.....end of flashback.

He was so deep in thought that he didn't realize that he have been crying.

He decides to let go of everything else and hugs jimin tightly. Lays the elder's head over his chest and strokes his head while mumbling all the kind of apologies he could come up with.
He wishes he had the courage to hold jimin in his arms when he's awake. But he knows its for the best. Or atleast so he thinks.

He eventually fell asleep with the contentment of having his hyung in his arms again.......for now.

What he didn't know was the kiss that was planted on his head long after he fell asleep.
'you don't have to cry for being honest koo. I'm the one who's sorry....for everything.'