Behind the cameras : jikook fan fiction (BTS)

Our own pain.

Silence. Only the heavy breathing of jimin filled the practice room. He was worried about the next move he should make. Should he talk? Apologize? Cry? Ask what happened back at home?

.....

Before 5 hours.

Taehyung and jungkook grabbed some drinks for the boys, ofcourse with their manager's permission. They entered the practice room to see the others already working a sweat.

"See what we got~" sing-songs taehyung.
The group stops their routine to stare at the duo, except for jimin; who decided it was the best time to scroll through the phone.
The air was too thick, filled with awkward tension. They could literally see fire in their leader's eyes. Taehyung gulped as he tried to speak up, only to receive monosyllabic replies.

For some reason, jimin barely joined the practice. Even if he tried to keep going the others made sure to force him to stop. Jungkook can feel something was off. Jimin was looking pale and never once even looked him in the eye.

The whole practice was awkward, the intervals were silent. Every single second felt like an hour. After a long day, it was finally the time to leave the practice room. Usually the time for the maknaes to stay behind and chatter.

Strangely enough, jimin got freshened up first and grabbed his bag to head home. Taehyung ran behind the latter and stopped him. Jimin didn't even bother turning around. He could easily walk away but he was stopped by namjoon.
"Don't you think it's better to talk things out jimin-ah?" Jimin was surprised that the leader wasn't standing by his side but ofcourse, he was right. He will get nothing out of ignoring them. He simply nods as he drops the bag and slides down a wall. Waiting for the hyungs to leave.

As the three best friends were left alone, taehyung spoke up. "jiminie what's wrong?" He asks as he sat down next to the latter. "You look pale! Are you sick?" Jimin forcefully stops the hand that reached his forehead.

A glare. A glare filled with hurt.  Never once taehyung or jungkook have seen the older's eyes like this. So hurt, so weak, so vulnerable.
"Don't act like it matter" he says.
Jungkook wanted to hug the latter and scream. 'ofcourse you matter hyung. You're the person that matters the most!' but he still didn't have the courage to sum up the words to talk to jimin. Something about the latter said that he shouldn't be speaking yet.
So he let taehyung continue.

"I'm sorry jimin-" "NO YOU'RE NOT SORRY!" He was surprised to see the older raised his voice. "Jimin please! It wasn't supposed to end this way! Listen to me!" Taehyung was tearing up because he couldn't explain the situation to the older. He wanted to hug jimin and calm him down, but jimin won't even let him anywhere close.

"There's nothing to listen to taehyung-ah.
You....you were the only person i thought i could trust. But knowing how weak I am, you chose to watch me suffer too."
"Jimin-" he was cut off by jimin again. "The three of us promised to spend the valentine's together. Every year we did. And JUST because i didn't want you to feel left out i told jungkook that we should never celebrate valentine's as a couple!" He chuckles before correcting himself. "Well, if we were to be a couple. But now that i think about it... You both just pitied me. The weakling who was trying to pretend to be strong. So you just let me stick around you. In the end...did i ever really matter to you?!"

Jungkook was no longer in his senses. He was always an emotional mess but, to know this was how he have been making jimin feel, to see him finally let it all out, He was stuck in a headspace.

Taehyung hugged jimin resisting all the attempts of pushing him away. "Jiminie PLEASE! you know non of it is true! You're my friend before kook! I've ALWAYS been your best friend! Ofcourse you matter the most to both of us...and we care...more than anything else."

It took a while for jimin to calm down. Nothing was sorted out. But atleast he wasn't pushing the latter away. There was a lot to explain. But he can't do it now. He's drained out of energy. He pulls away from the tight grip. "Leave now. We can talk later. I'm tired." Taehyung wanted to protest, but he can see that the latter wasn't lying. He looks so tired and worn out. So he just nods and decides to leave.

Judging by the look, jungkook wasn't ready to leave any sooner. He was scared of the result of leaving them together. What if they fight? What if they end things? But he had no choice but to let them be. With a pat on the latter's shoulder, he leaves the practice room.

......

He knew he needs to do this. 'man up jungkook!' he thought as he stepped towards the older. He didn't know how or where to start. He then thinks what their leader always used to tell him. 'do what you feel like'. He didn't even think for a second  before he trapped the curled up boy in his arms. He expected to be pushed away. With no doubts. He closed his eyes, waiting till he feels a punch or two. But all he feels is some tears pooling on his shoulder.

His heart was vanished into pieces at jimin's words.
"I want to push you away and swear you to never come near me....but...why can't I?!"

"I won't go away even if you push me away hyung...scold me punch me but please, don't get rid of me." He held the older tighter. "You forgot me kook." Jungkook did feel bad about the promise he couldn't keep. He didn't know what made him react so badly when jimin was the one got hurt.

"Seriously hyung?! Can we move on already?! We said we're sorry!  We just couldn't come home! You don't know how bad taehyung hyung works for your happiness but you threw him out just like that and even me now just because of some silly promises?!"

Jimin chuckles. "They may be silly promises with no meaning for you. But for me...." He shakes his head, his eyes filled to the brim with tears. "There's no point in telling you all the silly shit in my head. Do what-the-fuck-ever you want kook. Count me out of your love story. This shit head gives no shit."

He grabs his phone before leaving the practice room. As soon as he was out, he wanted comfort. So he decided to run to the only comfort he could think at the moment. His friends. Taemin. He started walking towards the bus station but was interrupted by a call from namjoon. He didn't want to answer. Not certain if they are just pitying him too. But he did endup talking to the leader. Which resulted in him deciding to head back home.

Jeon jungkook, alone in the practice room, was crying his eyes out as he realised that he did another mistake. A mistake that he can never undo.