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(song rec. - Streetcar | Daniel Ceaser)
His eyes lit up. his blue eyes now bright, with a hint of red from the ounces of weed he smoked. He smiled enthusiastically, trying to hide his concern.
you shouldn't be here.
you shouldn't be here with him.
with JJ.
you should hate him; despise him. he hurt you. your heart ached for months, trying to get over JJ. yet here you were, on the rooftop of his house, his arms wrapped around your shoulders.
''missed you.'' JJ said, lying his head on your lap, your hands combing through his blond locks. ''missed you soooooo much.'' he chuckled. ''missed you too, J.'' you smiled, staring upon the beautiful view. the stars sparkled; the moon glimmered. ''need a new color.'' he smiled, referring to his nails. you'd paint his nails once every week. His father hated them, so he called you to do his nails regularly. As a formal, ''fuck you.'' to his father. JJ also hated toxic masculinity--it's a long story. (as he should) he stared at his chipped nails, smirking. ''c'mon.'' you said, hopping off the rooftop of the house, landing on the grass. you grabbed your small purse, taking out the pink nail polish. ''always got it handy, thatta' girl.'' JJ smirked, sitting on the overgrown patch of grass. he placed his hands in your palms, as you started to apply the fuchsia colored nail polish. ''you love me?'' he asked, his eyes scanned your face. ''of course I love you.'' you smiled, not breaking contact with his nails. ''you know what I mean, Y/N. you--you still fucking love me?'' you stayed quiet. ''did she do these?'' you asked. ''hm?'' ''these nails--the black nail polish.'' ''oh uhm--yeah she did.'' ''tell her she's mediocre, they look like shit.''
''told her she wasn't good at them. she took a fit and stormed off.'' he chuckled. ''Y/N?'' ''hm?'' ''do--do I still have time to grow?'' you looked up from his nails, grasping his other hand gently, starting to apply the nail polish. ''sure, you're only sixteen. You can probably grow an inch or two before you reach eighteen.'' he chuckled. ''i'm serious'' ''elaborate...''
''I want to move on. I want you, and only you. I miss you so much Y/N...I just wish we could go back to normal. be together again.'' ''we were never normal, J.'' ''I miss your late night texts. I miss your cuddles. I miss everything about you, Y/N. Every fucking thing.''
''you hurt me...'' you said, your eyes focused on his nails. ''I know....'' ''I should hate you. But the only person I fucking hate is myself.''
''don't say th-'' ''you didn't call, text. nothing. You made me think I was the bad guy; but it was you.'' ''I-'' ''it was you all along. You played me, J. and too be quite frank with you; I was better without you around. without you distracting me. whatever we had before--it's never going to happen again. ever.'' silence. you placed his finished hand on the small outdoor table beside you. ''gotta' go.'' you said, grabbing your purse and stuffing the endless amount of useless shit back.
''y/n-''
''see you.'' you waved, hoping back into your vehicle.
