Future Journey 3/3

Days after

Josb POV

I sit beside her all day and night. They have kept her very medicated so she isn't awake much. I watch the nurses come in and out and change tubes and push meds in her IV. I want her to wake up. I grab her hand and she flinches and looks at me with her eyes half open. "Hey" i say stroking her hair. "You okay?" I ask. She nods. She holds up her hand to make the I LOVE YOU symbol. I say "I love you more" to her. She opens her eyes more and looks down at her chest. She closes her eyes again and a tear falls down.God I love her. " Joshua I want to go home " she whispers. "We will soon. You need to heal" I say. "Am I ok?" She asks. " Doctors haven't told me anything" I say. I squeeze her hand. The nurse then walks in and say "Colleen I need to change your dressings ." Colleen nods. "Josh I don't want you seeing me ok?" Colleen says. I nod and walk outside the curtains. I hear the nurse talking to Colleen and Colleen is crying. Its breaking my heart. The nurse walks out and smiles at me. I walk in an Colleen is balling.

Colleen POV
I cant believe its done. Its hitting me. Josh walks back in and holds my hand. " you okay?" Josh says. "Yup. I am. I can't let you see me like this" I say. Josh strokes my hair " oh baby we can fix that. I don't care about boobs. I love you" Josh says. " I dont love me at the moment" I say. Josh sits on the bed. "please dont say that" he says. Just then I feel sick. Josh gets me a pail and I start barfing my guts out. Nurses come running in as Josh pushes the nurse call button. They ask Josh to step out so they can help me and I am sobbing because vomiting is hurting my chest. Finally I stop and Josh comes back to me. "Okay?" He says. "No I'm not." I say. I am an emotional wreck. I want to go home.

I turn over as much as possible to face away from Josh. I don't feel like a woman. I have no female internal organs and no boobs now. I feel devastated. "josh can you call Rachel for me?" I ask. He nods and jumps on his cell phone. He talks to her and he says she will be here in 30 minutes. "josh I love you but I don't look like a woman anymore. You are gonna want to leave me" I start sobbing. "Colleen the doctors told you they will fix that after you heal. Again I just want you babe" Josh says. I am not listening. I just keep thinking he won't be attracted to me anymore. He has his kids and I can't offer him anything.

Soon the door opens to my room and Rachel walks in. Josh steps out as he knows I want to talk to her. "Rachel I feel terrible" I say. I am crying and she has tears in her eyes. "Josh won't love me anymore. I don't look like a girl anymore" I cry even harder. "Colleen I KNOW JOsh doesn't care about that right now. He wants you healthy PLUS you get new boobs. "before pregnancy boobs"" Rachel says and we both start laughing. "Hang in there sis...everyone is right beside you every step of the way" she says and hugs me. "We all love you and boobs is the last of our concern right now" she says.

Josh POV

I am sitting in the hallway giving the girls time to talk. It kills me Colleen is so down. She doesn't believe me that her chest is not why I love her. I hear Rachel come out and she walks over and hugs me. "She is worried that you won't love her or feel attracted to her without her girl parts. I told her she gets new boobs so she should be happy" she says as she laughs. "i told her that already Rachel but she doesn't believe me" I say. "Josh she needs to adjust. Just keep loving her. She will come around" she says. Rachel again hugs me and goes home. Love my family