Future Journey 3/3

Diagnosis

Colleen Pov

I have asked Josh to carry on with regular day life and not dwell on this until we know. We are cleaning the kitchen and Dr Jansen calls. Josh answers the phone and I shout to Dr Jansen to tell him, she has my approval. Joshs face sinks as he looks at me as he listens. He nods and I know it is bad. He hangs up the phone. I am sitting on the floor. He sits down. "Colleen it is cancer" he says. "There are two lumps so you can get a lumpectomy but because lymph nodes could carry it she suggests a masectomy, a total removal of your right breast to be thorough.She said the specialist will go over it with you.". He hugs me and all I can think of  is here we go again. I cry and cry. " She had sent over your info to the oncologist. You have an appt tomorrow as they don't want to delay it" he says. " Lets hear what the doctor says okay?" He says as he rubs my face. I nod.

Josh POV

Here we are again. My beautiful Colleen. We drive to the doctors the next day and the specialist tells us that it could have been caused by the hormones in the injections Colleen took to get pregnant. My heart sinks.I knew they were bad. They inform Colleen of her choices and she asks about the likely hood of it travelling to both breasts. They say that it could have. Colleen then says "I want you to remove them both. I want to be alive" I look shocked. Tears in my eyes. The doctor tells her they can do that. They will test the tissue and lymph nodes to check for any spreading when they remove them. She seems strong to me. She asks about radiation and chemo and they tell her that they may suggest that but will check after the biopsy done on the tissues. They tell us they can get us into surgery in two weeks. We book the date. Colleen isn't crying she just says to me that she would like to spend some time away before hand with me alone and some time as a family. So we go home and sit on the computer and book a cabin in Cali for the two of us for a few days and then we do a camping trip with the kids for a few days. Colleens parents are devastated as well as the entire family but they come down and take the kids to their house for the next 4 days. Colleen and I pack and head to the cabin the next morning. She hasn't cried yet where as I cannot stop. I look at her on the drive to the cabin. She looks over at me"Josh I am okay. I am not sad. I just have to do what I am doing and get it done to try and survive. I am almost angry at it...the cancer. I will win" she says. "Please lets not have tears" she says "I am still here" she adds.