DRAG - [h.s. au]

31

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The mists rush in

And they take it all

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BENTLEY

It's been a week.

A grueling seven days since Harry left. I had a whole lot of time to feel everything that I wanted to. Anger, spite, and rage took over my body for the first half of the week. I was angry about how he had decided to just end things... It was clearly a front. The way he reacted afterwards when I had detached proved that.

The way he knocked me out upset me at first, but then I realized why. I was threatening to kill myself in front of him... if he hadn't, then, god knows. He was crying too, that drop that fell on my face but I couldn't even comprehend the emotions. I didn't understand anything that was going on. I wasn't even aware of myself, or his feelings... Had I hurt him?

He hurt me, and I didn't understand until he was gone. There was no way of tracking him, the only source I could even access was in my bedroom, on my nightstand, over my journal.

I had written a lot the past few days... little poems and fragments of words. They were angry, and they were sad.

Just like me.

I really liked them. I really liked him.

I had begged Rumer to track him, and he refused. Harry had called Rumer, and asked him specifically not to tell me anything other than that he was fine, and to stop asking. If he reached out to Rumer, then he had to be okay... But that was the day after he left.

We were back to square one, though. Harry had told me I was on the list officially. He'd have to kill me and he told me he wouldn't, but everything has changed. Is this why he couldn't see me? Because he'd have to kill me?

My mind had been spinning and I've been drowning myself in work all fucking week to ease it. Allie had been coming over every single night up until I went to sleep to supervise me, and I fucking hated it but I knew Rumer had asked her to do it. Maybe Harry had, too.

"Harry looked like a wreck when I saw him." Allegra tells me, rolling out from under the car.

We had been avoiding talking about anything from last night. She brushed aside the part where I held a gun up to my face in front of Harry because she knew I wouldn't talk to her about it. I trusted her with my life, but I didn't trust my emotions to take care of me if I thought about it.

"He did?" I ask, biting my lip and screwing in the headlight.

"I don't know how he got into your place but he was sitting at the end of the bed while you were out. Did you fall asleep after you fought?" She asks, and then I realize Harry didn't tell her he knocked me out. He knows I want to keep Allegra out of this, and he respected that.

"Yeah, yeah I did."

The work day was over though, and I asked Allegra to give me some space. I hadn't gone over to Apollo's and Dorian's to cook them dinner this week, and Apollo came and checked on me but I pretended not to be home when he knocked. Dorian had been showing up to work, and I had no doubt he could sense I was off.

I was so off I couldn't even fucking rub one out anymore and that was an added side effect of Harry's departure. I missed his touch, the roughness and equal softness of his hands on me was like nothing else I'd ever felt. I missed his voice, that husky accent always made me weak... he made me weak. He said he'd be back but it had been a week. What did Luna need him for? Why did she need him to travel somewhere if she was shutting down Oakland?