Burnout ⊗ Jeongchan

④⑦ Inure

Forewarning: Mentions of abuse.

His head throbbed.

Despite the darkness of the room, lights shut off and windows closed, Jeongin's head pounded. He rested it on his folded arms that perched atop his knees, curled up so that he may be protected from the outside world. Outside, talking from the living room drifted to his spot against his bedroom door, spine digging into the wood to shred at his skin and tear him apart. It felt empty. 'It', because there was too much to say. There was a void in his tightenes chest, a silence in his blackouted room, a famine in his starving stomach, a vacancy in his nerves. His eyes fluttered close. Feeling too little, then too much, and never being able to find a point of balance. It never hit an equilibrium, only, felt like something was missing.

I hate this. His head slipped off his arms, falling slack as a perfected rounded off ball. The muscles in his neck burned for a relief he never granted them, or himself.

A knock on the door behind rattled his body, followed immediately by a gentle, "Can I come in?"

Jeongin muttered, barely loud enough for the other to hear, "Go away."

"Okay, I'll...go," He heard a sharp inhale come from the other side before Seungmin stepped away from the door.

"Seungmin?" Jeongin called, meagerly lifting his head to glance at the door behind him. Through the crack at the bottom of the threshold, where light hardly reached him and left his mind to rot, the shadow on the other side stopped. It shifted back towards Jeongin, never making a noise to show he was there, instead filling the gap with a small weight against the door. Leaning against it. Trying to connect them, yet still a rift that neither could reach past. I'm sorry, but the words wouldn't leave him. It couldn't get past the divide either. Jeongin placed his head back on his knees, "Never mind."

A few beats passed between them without a word. The single indication the other was still there, was the stretching of his shadow along the floor as if it was trying to reach the younger who unconsciously leaned away from the bit of shade. Seungmin breathed, "Your... friend with the long hair ordered pizza. I'll save a slice and bring it for you if you don't come downstairs. "

Jeongin nodded a polite thank you, though Seungmin never would have been able to see it. Quiet footsteps padded on the carpeted floors, away from his room and down the steps. Hesitantly, Jeongin unfurled from his balled position, limbs immediately sighing in gratitude for finally moving after sitting in the dark like a statue for however long he had been alone in there. Taking care not to make noise, he stretched his arms forward before standing from the floor, bracing against the threshold for support with his shoulder only to flinch back when the sensation of a sharp stab sliced through. Making a mental note to not use his arm as much, Jeongin carefully wrapped his hand around the door knob and opened the barrier.

His hand came to briefly cover his eyes, the harsh hallway lights stinging every inch of his retinas. Again, he braced himself on the threshold of the door, until his sight adjusted to the sudden shift in light. When it had, Jeongin flipped his head back and forth, checking up and down the hall if anyone was in the area and thankfully coming back with a lack of significant life forms on the top floor. No sign of Seungmin.

He sighed to himself as he prepared to shut the bedroom door again. Faintly, the hum of talking down the hall caught his attention. Jeongin checked around one more time before stepping carefully away from his safety, tiptoeing along the edge of the walkway as he made his way to the bathroom.

A hushed talking came from inside. Two familiar voices, one speaking through a muffled noise, "They'll know I'm repulsive."

"You're stunning, baby," The other replied in a fond tone. Jisung? Then the other must be Minho. Jisung, he thinks it was Jisung, made a soft sound, a mix of a content hum and a worried groan before he continued, "But I'll find something. Maybe his parents had make-up around."