The first night she texted him, Jeongin woke up in the silver car, next to a road, in the middle of nowhere. The same place they escaped to when he ran away. The thudding on the window, the fresh morning breeze that flooded his lungs, a more than friendly push and pull, and the stiffness locking his limbs from an uncomfortable position; a morning all too similar to that day. When the sun rose in the sky, Chan drove him school. Even down to the finest detail, Jeongin could have been convinced he had traveled back in time if not for the slight changes in their dialogue.
The second night she told him to stay out of the house, he spent it at the Hub with the crew. He had never realized how infuriating it was not being able to keep his hands steady. Leg constantly bouncing, the slightly movement making him flinch, the heightened nerves only grated on his consciousness as he let himself slip on and out of a dream state. If the others had noticed, they never made a comment on it. When Jeongin opened his eyes, he was in the passenger seat again.
Jeongin sat on the hood of the silver car as the crew chatted in the shop, distracting himself from the doubts that plagued his mind with the threadbare seams on his skinny jeans. The others had gathered around Hyunjin's car, examining it with a fake hauteur that was evidently pissing off the car's owner. If he focused out of the daze, Jeongin could catch the few exchanged phrases between them. Something about a crunched fender. Jeongin couldn't find the will or want to listen more then that.
The phone in his pocket buzzed. Reluctantly, he removed it from his pocket and read the message. He frowned, restarting his phone in hope that his growing suspicion wasn't for no reason. There was no mistaking.
It was the same as the messages he received in the days prior.
That would make three nights.
Jeongin gripped his phone, wanting to feel the thin metals crush beneath his fingers but not having the will power to. Feeling hardly a flicker of resentment or anger, instead a coagulated solemness spreading in his veins, he pointed his concentration far from his phone in a quiet attempt to block it out. He caught Chan's gaze from across the way. As soon as the older was able to pry himself away from the crew teasing Hyunjin about the dent, he took his place by the car. Without a word Jeongin handed over the phone.
Chan read the messages a few times, no doubt repeating them in his head a multitude of times in a forceful attempt to understand. Though with him, it was equally likely there was something else swimming behind his eyes. Chan limply pocketed Jeongin's phone, and sighed, "Come on, I'll take you home."
He nodded, quietly skidding off the hood of the car and slipping into the passenger seat. It took a while before Chan joined him in the car, letting the ignition roar a few times and driving them away from the repair shop without much of a word to the others of where they were going. Chan steered the car, heading straight into the heart of the city instead of the suburbs where most citizens lived, Jeongin included. No, they charged head-on towards the skyscrapers and towering banks that the cityscape offered only to the rich.
He never said where he's taking me. It came as a belated thought, somewhere between Jeongin spacing out and him being fully conscious from the ether. He gazed vacantly at the very tops of the buildings they passed, a few of them forcing him to crane his neck in uncomfortable positions just to see a few windows more, "Hey... Where exactly are we going?"
"Mean you got in my car without really knowing where I was taking you?"
"... Sort of."
Chan laughed, "To the city. Mind staying with me tonight?"
"You never asked that before," Jeongin cocked an eyebrow. He probably was not feeling quite as suspicious about this whole thing as he should be.
"Because I never took you to my place before."
Jeongin made a small sound of acknowledgment and shifted his weight to face out the window, letting his gave fall on the car reflections in the side mirror. His head snapped back around to Chan a few beats afterwards, a delayed realization kicking in a bit longer then he wished it to, "We're going to your house?"
"Not house. Flat. It's an apartment in the city," Chan quickly corrected. He loosened one hand from the steering wheel, balancing his wrist at the top of wheel as he pointed a lazy finger in the direction of a multi-story building somewhere far off in the distance, hidden behind the other towering figures surrounding it, "Near that office building."
"How much do you make off racing?"
"A decent amount. Not much."
"It's not much?" Jeongin leaned closer towards the older, balancing his elbow on the console between them as he hissed, "You drive an expensive car and can afford to live in the heart of the city by a very expensive corporation. Yet you're telling me it's not much?"
Chan glanced at the younger, "What do you think a lot is?"
"I-" Jeongin cut himself off before he could begin. What did he think a lot was anyway? His family wasn't poor in the slightest, but he didn't exactly consider them having 'a lot'. This must be what 'a lot' was, right? Expensive cars, bright lights, the city; yet, it seemed almost as if that wasn't entirely true either. There could always be more. There is always something there, just slightly out of reach, something that feels almost impossible to grab. 'A lot' was no doubt one of these something's. What was it, exactly?
"Now that you ask, I'm not too sure," Jeongin frowned as he leaned back in his seat.
"Don't know what a lot is, then you can't assume I have it," Chan smiled as if he had proven a very important point, as if he had solved life's greatest mysteries and was teasing everyone around with the answer. It seemed to be his fallback grin, and the younger couldn't tell whether he had quickly grown tired of it or wanted to see more until he couldn't keep up with him.
Jeongin asked, "Do you think you have a lot?"
"Maybe," Chan just shrugged, an certain indifference to him that made the other feel uneasy. He muttered, "Think there's a different between having a lot and having enough."
Jeongin sent him a confused look across the way, a polite smile tugging at his lips as to question what exactly that was referring to. The older seemed to get the idea. When a silence enveloped them, nothing but the whir of tires on the streets below filing the space, the older briefly explained, "Can have as much as you want. It won't make a difference if you think it's not enough."
"Then, when do you decide if it's enough?"
"Up to you. Depends on what you want. How far you're willing to let yourself go to get what you want," Chan casted his gaze to the younger, letting his eyes linger for a few seconds longer then he should have,
"And how long you will let others decide for you."
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Burnout ⊗ Jeongchan
FanfictionBurn·out Noun 1. (of a motor vehicle) the practice of keeping a vehicle stationary and spinning it's wheels 2. physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress