Just Our Secret - Gruvia

Black and White

"I really wish you didn't come." 

Far from embarrassment, I was drowning in humiliation that Gray came along with me to my appointment. I had no idea I'd be having so many tests, and having Gray in the room while I went through my medical history and my gynaecological history. The only part I had been thinking about up until the appointment was the ultrasound part. Where you actually get to see your baby on a screen, even if it's in fuzzy black and white lines. 

I kicked Gray out of the room and asked him to come back later. I wasn't in the mood to tell him my period cycle nonsense either. 

I was supposed to have an appointment when I first found out. But I was so terrified and worrying of how Gray would react I never bothered. 

My mum was a bit on edge when I told the news that Gray and I were going to have the baby. I assured her I was going to be absolutely fine. My dad always called me his "tough cookie" as I was growing up. It hasn't changed. 

Lucy was over the moon, psyched to become an aunt. She'd for sure be the fun one, Gajeel would be the type of uncle who loses control of his niblings. Even though he's not my brother, he's always treated me like his little sister.  

I talked through my symptoms with the doctors. My main concern was how often my morning sickness was, which they informed was actually normal, even if it felt abnormal by how much escaped my system each day. 

About forty five minutes after I kicked Gray out, he came back just as I was getting ready for my ultrasound. Truth is, I'm terrified. I kept fearing the worst, like what if there was something wrong with it? What if after Gray and I had gotten ourselves excited about the baby, suddenly we learn there's a defect and I have to get an abortion to save my own life?  

Gray enters the room with a plastic bag, contained with most likely food. I was starving. To keep away the sickness I'd been eating a lot more often. 

"Ah, Mr Lockser's back." 

I had to hold myself from cackling as the doctor greeted Gray. I hadn't mentioned that I was not married or in a relationship with Gray, it's unnecessary information. So of course they assume. She's having a baby so she must be married. 

"Fullbuster. We're not married." I correct, unable to throw away my smirk. 

The doctor bites her lips from embarrassment. Surely a lot of doctors experience that. 

Gray takes a seat beside me. That was when the paranoia kicked in. I grasp Gray's hand, making him jump as he wasn't expecting me to become all frantic, "Gray, I'm fucking terrified!" I loudly whisper. 

"Why?" He can be so oblivious!

"What if there's something wrong? What if there's a defect? Did you know that if there's no heartbeat signal past seven weeks it can be a sign of miscarriage!?" I speak speedily, he probably didn't catch any of that since I kept pitching and was becoming irrational. 

"Juvia, calm down. You're being dramatic. Everything's gonna be fine." 

I like to assume the worst. That way I'm not as disappointment when the worst actually arrives. I've always been this pessimistic. 

His reassurance was refreshing, even if my mind ordered me to ignore it since he was doing it just to make me feel better. That's the inconsiderate side of me. If something happens, it affects him too. 

The doctor also told me not to worry, if I hadn't had any bleeding then it should be fine. However, she did mention that it might be too early to actually hear a heartbeat. Which increased my troubled thoughts.