Just Our Secret - Gruvia

Putting out a final cigarette

Gray's POV:

Her, sitting next to me, neither of us muttering a sound, making a gesture. It's silence. Sound silence, physical silence.

However, I guess it's natural for a strong friendship, built on friendly connections only, to become awkward after something intimate happens. Like sex. Four times...

Other than Natsu, I'd say Juvia is my best friend. From the beginning, just by witnessing her demeanour from across the room it was obvious she was a loyal, humorous, light hearted soul.  It's been almost seven weeks. Last week we were beginning to get back on track, less stuttering in our sentences and lack of pauses. Something changed. I'm not sure what, maybe it's none of my business and it's a completely unrelated topic, or maybe it is.

Everyone's noticed it. Juvia's tense state of mind. Of course Lucy and I get bombarded with the most questions as we're her closest friends, unfortunately both of us were clueless. Well, I say both, more Lucy. I have a slight idea, but saying something again will just make it worse.

The professor called on Juvia a few times, trying to regain her focus. I'd never seen her so distracted, most of the time she's a kiss ass when it comes to class.

She didn't waste a second as it's over, scramming her belongings in her bag and rushing towards the door. This time I chose not to bother catching up with her, instead I moped down the corridors, searching for someone who is a real friend. Someone who doesn't cringe at the sight of me, need to get away as soon as they see an inch of me.

In a way, I can't blame her. I knew once we had sex our friendship would be ruined. Hell, I didn't expect her to literally stop talking to me. At the bar she was so awkward, being alone with me for mere seconds drove her insane and she needed to escape.

"Hey dude," Pink hair flies into my vision as Natsu interrupts my silent soliloquy, throwing his arm around my shoulder as he startles me slightly, "Why the long face? Juvia bumming you out again?"

Natsu was quite an immature friend. I say quite, I mean my most immature friend. He never took the dorky smirk off his face, even when worst comes to worst. He tends to add gasoline to the fire in situations when he gets the chance.

I nod, clearing my throat before answering, "Yeah, she was late to class again and never said a word to me."

"Shit... let's leave it for now. If she's still all weird after the weekend we'll get together and ask her what's up. You seriously don't know why she's avoiding you? You sure you haven't pissed her off?" What a mature way to put it, not like him.

I shook my head. I doubt I've pissed her off, I believe it's just the aftermath of our night of physical escapades that's screwed her up. Honestly, I thought she'd be over it by now.

_ _ _

'Can't make it to Natsu's party, didn't manage to get out of my shift. I can't miss this as my mum really needs the money right now, tell him I'm sorry and I wish him happy birthday.'

Erza messaged me mid way through the day. Our "relationship" was a puzzle. Too complicated to explain. Only one person knows the truth, and they're not even speaking to me. I turned my phone off and decided to reply later, the main thing I felt for the red haired masculine woman was pity. That was pretty much the gist of it. For now, let's just say we're amazing actors.

I found myself skipping my first afternoon class, placing myself on the concrete steps outside the back entrance. First instinct in the outdoors for me was to light up a joint. Unfortunately I didn't have any of the mind numbing blunts so I had to stick with regular cigarettes. Besides I need to remain focus for the classes in the later afternoon.

The strain on my mind was killing me slowly. I sat there with a grumpy pout as I light up the cigarette, the almost winter-like autumn breeze making my hairs stand on end. Out of everyone I've ever met, Juvia I loved the most. She knew me best. I don't have a single secret hidden from her. But here we are, avoiding me like the plague.

"Can I sit?"

I almost didn't believe the voice I just heard. I tilt my head backwards and watch her blue silky locks float across her face. I gazed at her like a puppy; Finally receiving the attention I craved.

"If you want." I mumble, smoke fighting out through the gaps of my lips.

Her lips fold in, she must be drowning in her own nerves. As she takes the spot next to me, I remove my cig with my thumb and index finger, holding it out to her. "No thanks... Actually, can you put that out?" Was the smell bothering her or something? Usually the most I can smell from that chick is perfume of cigarette smoke.

I oblige anyway, hearing a hissing noise as I squish it into the concrete. Her lips kept folding in, and her teeth nibbling at the bottom one. She clearly wanted to talk, yet she couldn't form the right words.

After more than a minute of fidgeting, she exhales into the crisp breeze, her eyebrows slanting with what seems to be distraught.

"Gray," she pauses, still thinking whether what she was about to tell me was the right moment to do so, "I still can't say what I need to, I'm sorry I've been avoiding you, and you the most out of everyone," another moment to think, her hand clutches the fabric of her jacket, "After Natsu's party, Levy is going to Gajeel's so I'll need a lift home, and then I'll tell you."

Her skin immensely cold as she places her hand on my cheek, from the direction her lips were headed I assumed I was going to get some sort of mouth affection. Every thought on my mind just vanished in a millisecond and I needed her lips on mine again. Although, I brief swift of disappointment was handed to me as her lips caught my cheek instead.

My hand caught her wrist, the simple kiss planted on my cheek lasted longer than it needed to. She eventually realised that, and removed her burying kiss. Nonetheless, I didn't release my grip. Instead I shifted my hand up onto hers, my fingers eloping in between her fingers and I was desperate for just one more of those sweet and tender kisses she gave. Her eyes lock with mine and all that floats inside them is mixed emotions. I couldn't catch on whether she wanted to kiss me too, or perhaps she was dreading the feel of our mouthes overtaking the others again. Either way, I was about to find out.

I part my lips and quickly lean in, anticipation fills my veins and what I was about to do was morally wrong. I didn't care, we've already had sex and one more kiss won't change that.

"Gray," instead of lips, I got a hand. She protected her mouth by putting her hand over mine, I really need to stop jumping to conclusions, "Not now. I'm sorry."

Just like that, I was left in solitude again. I was always a pro at messing things up.

_ _ _

"She actually spoke to you today?"

Lucy and I were sat inside the University's library, she actually doing some work while I was throwing scrunches of paper at her head as a nice little distraction.

"Yeah, throughout psychology she didn't even make a sound but when we were outside she said she needed to talk to me about something, but for some reason now wasn't a good time and she wanted to do it after Natsu's party."

She stops mid sentence of her note taking and glares at me for a moment, almost like she realised something. I raise an eyebrow at her, she closes her notebook and folds her laptop down then scrams them inside her bag. "You okay?" My tone mildly sarcastic.

The chair squeaks against the hardwood floor when she stands up, throwing her bag over her shoulder her hands clasp together as she excuses herself, "Sorry, you actually just reminded me I was supposed to be going over to her apartment. I'll call you later, okay?"

I didn't bother replying as she was already out the door before I could mutter a word. Honestly ever since the school year started up again my life had been an enigma so this time I wouldn't bother questioning. I'll get an answer sooner or later.