Just Our Secret - Gruvia

Back To Routine

I wake up to a throbbing wrist, aching inner thighs, and sore scratches on my hips. The pain was worth it, as I recall what a night I had with him. Before I open my eyes, I go caress him, see if he's awake.

I pat an empty spot. 

I must've just missed him? My eyes open and I see nothing but the sheets of my mattress. 

He can't have... He didn't, did he? He really just, up and left me? 

I sit up in disbelief, scanning the room for him, and he's nowhere around. 

I feel my heart shatter into tiny pieces. I know last night was me playing out a bit of a fantasy, but was it really that meaningless to him? 

My chest becomes tight, my lip trembles as my eyes are coated in what will be a heavy rainfall of tears. 

I silence my tears into the palms of my hands. Sobbing silently was the worst. The choking sensation of forcing yourself to stay quiet so you didn't concern anyone around you was unbearable. I was mainly embarrassed. I didn't want to cry like this. 

Startling me, I heard a door open and pulled the sheet up to cover my bare chest. As my hands leave my eyes and I could see again, I realise it was the bathroom door that opened, and out came a damp, muscly man in a towel. My heart instantly pieced itself back together. 

"Hope you don't mind that I used your shower, I just felt a bit dirty from all the sweat." He said after he noticed I was awake. 

His smile drops as he takes note of the state of me, my lips were still trembling and the flow of tears streaming down my face was unstoppable. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" He rushes over to me, hands holding my cheeks, thumbs wiping away the passing tears.

"N-Nothing, I just..." I clear my throat and let go of the sheet, placing my hand on top of his, "I just woke up, and saw you weren't here, and I-" 

"Hey," He smiles, pressing his lips into mine for a second, and when he pulls away his eyes gaze into mine like he's seeing stars, "I'd never do that to you," 

I return his smile, and squeeze his hands. My tears eventually calm. I must be extra hormonal recently, I was still crying even when I saw him. 

"How're you feeling?" He asks after another brief kiss and sits on the bed beside me. 

"Sore... in a lot of places. No sickness this morning though." That's a rare occasion. "Oh, sorry to ask but you are... clean, right? We didn't use a condom last night." 

"Yeah, don't worry. You are too?" 

I nod.

"Good..." The backs of his fingers are roaming around my bare skin, across my collarbone and down my shoulder, "I had fun last night." 

"Me too." 

It still hadn't hit me yet whether it was a good or bad idea. So far, all between us was good. Better, even. We're kissing, caressing, fine with seeing each other naked. The storm that raged inside me outside the clinic had calmed. And I could see his mother's words were no longer tainting him. We have a lot of trust in each other. 

What does this mean for the long run? 

"How's your wrist?" 

Throbbing! "Hurts a bit, not too bad." 

He gently holds it, running his thumb over the swollen part and I wince. 

A concerning sigh passes his lips. He looks at me for a moment, glancing at my lips and back to my eyes.