Life goes on

Chapter 6

I can't remember what the doctors told me I had. I think they said something about posttraumatic stress. I honestly don't care what they think is wrong with me. It doesn't fix anything.

They won't let me back into the woods any more. They say even with someone watching me I could run off and have something happen to me.

Haymitch is watching me one day when I hear a knock at the door. It's Peeta, Haymitch goes outside to chat with him. I could tell Haymitch wanted to talk with Peeta alone but couldn't leave me by myself so he just talked with Peeta on the stoop outside my door.

I don't know what they're thinking but I can hear everything they're saying.

"I think you should start helping out with watching her," says Haymitch. "Like you did after the games. You helped her then and I think you could do it now."

"I can't," Peeta chokes out. "I can't risk hurting her. She's too special to me to do that."

"You've been back for months now and you haven't even had an episode," Haymitch says. "Look boy, I can't keep watching her all the time. I have a life too." That's a lie. Haymitch admitted that I'm all he has left in his life. He's just trying to guilt Peeta into watching me.

"Okay, okay. I want to be there for her, Peeta says with a hint of sadness in his voice. "I want to be there because I wasn't after the war."

"That's the spirit!" Haymitch says as he pats him on the shoulder I think. Oh no, they're coming in here. I don't want them to know I've been listening to their conversation.

I quietly sprint up the stairs to my bedroom. I close the door quickly and take a step back. I also take a look at myself in the mirror. Yikes, my hair is a mess so I sloppily braid it in my signature style. However an issue presents itself that can't be easily fixed, my figure.

My face is extremely hollow and when I lift up the bottom of my shirt I am taken back by how my rib cage pops out. I think I am skinnier than I was when I came out of the games.

"Katniss!" Haymitch calls. "Come down here!" He shouts to the open house. He wasn't being harsh when he said it but I can tell this is a demand not a request.

I slowly make my way downstairs and see Haymitch and Peeta in the living room. I don't say anything but just make my over to the back of the room, where it starts to turn into the kitchen.

Peeta is standing up near the lit fireplace and Haymitch is sitting in his usual lounge chair. No one sits in that seat but him.

"Well sweetheart," Haymitch says breaking the silence. "Our neighbor has finally decided to help out with watching the freakshow." It takes me a second to get but by neighbor he means Peeta and by freakshow he means me.

I don't take offense, we do this a lot. Haymitch calls me crazy, I call him a drunk. Compliments have never been a huge part of our relationship.

Peeta brings me back to my senses when he says "Only if that's okay with you, Katniss."

Peeta is the one who is going to have to keep me under surveillance for most of his day and he's worried if I'm okay with it. Haymitch was right I'll never deserve him.

"It doesn't matter to me," I manage to get out. Peeta displays a small smile on his face and I return it. Wow, I can't remember the last time I smiled.

"Okay well since we're all here might as well stay for a bit," Haymitch declares. He falls asleep within half an hour.

This leaves Peeta and I alone for the remainder of the day. And we do something I didn't want to do.

We talk.