Monasterio Series #5: Risks and Chances

Kabanata 16

Kabanata 16

Dirty

It took almost a year before Kris had me. He courted me and did everything he could just to get my sweet yes. Hindi kami katulad ng mga nasa pelikula, unang kita pa lang ay may kuryente na agad na nararamdaman. I never felt the spark the very first time I saw him. I only felt it months after he told me that he loved me.

And believe me when I say that that spark wasn't that strong. Even the butterflies in my stomach, I seldom experience it whenever I was with him. Bilang sa daliri kung ilang beses lang. Hindi ko pa nga alam kung tama bang iyon ang dapat itawag doon.

Kaya naman hindi ko maintindhan ang sarili ko kung bakit kailangan kong makaramdam ng kakaibang sensasyon nang sabihin ni Alas na huwag kaming mahulog sa isa't-isa.

Why would I feel something ticklish in my stomach as my heart beats aggressive after hearing that from him? Why does it seems like I'm affected? Of course, I won't fall for him. What made him think that I would? Hindi porque lagi kaming nagkakasama ay mahuhulog na ako sa kaniya. The nerve of this monkey.

I ain't that easy to fall for someone else. I don't like him. I would never like him. I just won't.

Damn it, Ania. Why do you sound so defensive?

"I wonder what you're thinking right now."

Alas' voice pulled me out of my thoughts. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya at naabutan siyang nakatitig sa akin.

"What?" I asked with my furrowed eyebrows.

Ngumuso siya at tumingin sa bandang ibaba. Nang sundan ko 'yon ng tingin ay nakitang sa kamay ko siya nakatingin. It's balled into fist and I didn't even  notice it.

"Something's making you mad?" he added. "Someone rather."

Suminghap ako at inalis ang pagkakakuyom ng kamay. I stared into his perilous eyes as he stared back to mine. There's no shadow of playfulness from his lips, only looking serious.

"Question. Do I look like someone who is easy to fall in love, Alas?"

Suddenly, the edge of his reddish lips quirked up.

"Is this about our deal?"

"Your nonsense deal, asshat. You actually don't need to open it up because with or without deal, I will never fall in love with you. Baka ikaw pa!" mahinahong asik ko ngunit nagtatagis naman ang bagang.

He looked down, grabbed his cup of coffee and took a sip of it. Nang ilapag niya ito sa mesa ay itinikom niya ang mga labi saka tumingin sa akin.

"Why do I sound defensiveness from your voice?"

Umiling ako. "I'm not being defensive, Alas. It's just not right to jump into conclusion that either one of us will fall in love when we both knew that it's impossible to happe—"

"Hindi imposible sa akin," putol niya dahilan para mapahinto ako mula sa pagsasalita.

I literally caught my breath because of those words. He licked his lower lip and descended his gaze. Nang mag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin ay may naramdaman na naman ako ng kung ano sa sikmura ko.

"Kung wala lang akong ibang mahal." dagdag niya pa.

Kung ganoon pala ay puwede kang mahulog sa akin kung hindi mo lang mahal si Trish? Are we fooling around here? Nakakalimutan mo atang si Trish at Kris ang dahilan kung bakit tayo narito ngayon, magkakilala at nagsasama palagi. I don't know but I actually felt insulted at that statement.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Basta naiinis ako.

Suminghap ako at bumuntong hininga. I sat straight and smiled sarcastically at him. Titig na titig siya sa akin, walang bahid ni kaunting ngiti sa kaniyang labi. He's drumming his slender fingers over the table like a uncanny businessman he is.