Obsessive Secrets

Chapter 2

I wait until the plane has taken off to head to my terminal. It had only been 30 minutes and I already wanted to kiss him again. To get to my terminal I have to take the train to get to the domestic side of the airport. The train was crowded with people and there were no seats so I had to stand. The train started before I could grab a hold of one of the loops and I tripped and I accidentally hit the person beside me. “I am so sorry.” I say and the man just smiles.

“It’s alright sweetheart, you gotta be quick to hold on, these trains don’t stop for anyone. People got places to be around here.” He says. He was an older gentleman and his voice was deep and raspy. I could tell it was because he smoked because I could smell the scent of cigarettes on his clothes. I nod my head at him and I look away. “Where are you headed all alone?” The man asks.

“I’m just headed back home to Houston.” I say smiling. Little did he know my home was on a plane right now flying 9,000 miles away.

“What brought a Texas girl out to L.A.?” he asks. I didn’t know whether to tell him the truth or to lie. I guess I didn’t have to mention the whole truth.

“I was visiting my boyfriend.” I finally admit.

“Ah young love. How did you two meet then?” He asks. I was smiling because I was happy to have a little company but I didn’t want to talk about Ashton right now. I wanted to clear my head and think about seeing my friends and seeing my house and my room. But thoughts of Ashton keep rushing through my brain and they won't stop.

“We met at a concert.” I say.

“A concert? Wow. I questioned the idea of concerts for a long time. I said to myself why the hell would anyone pay extra money just to hear a live version of an album they’ve heard a million times before? But then I realized concerts are more than just the music. It’s being surrounded by the people who love the same things as you and being able to connect.” He says wisely. I smile wide. He was right, concerts weren’t just about the music. They were about so much more than that.

“I never thought about it like that.” I say and then the train jerks to a stop and the train doors open and I can feel the breeze rush into the train. Everyone piles out of the train and I am being squished by roller bags and shoulders. I guess those weeks on tours being crowded by fans has come to some benefit. After the crowd clears the man I was talking to is standing beside me.

“Well it was nice meeting you. I hope you make it safely to Texas. And I wish you the best with your boyfriend. What was his name again?” the man asks.

“Ashton.” I say looking down at my hands.

“Well I hope you and Ashton are happy. And I hope you see each other again soon.” The man says and he walks in the opposite direction of my terminal. I hope I see him again soon too. I check my watch and boarding time was in just 20 minutes so I decide not to risk getting anything to eat and I take a seat in front of the gate. I take out my phone and pop my headphones into the jack. I scroll through my playlists and I see the one I had made for Ashton. I wonder if he was listening to it right now. I can imagine him sitting with his head up against the airplane window listening to his favorite music. Was he sleeping? Was he smiling? Was he sad? I wonder what he was seeing. I close my eyes for a few seconds that soon turn into minutes. I'm awakened by a woman tapping my shoulder.

"Are you on the flight to Houston?" She asks. I take on earbud out

"Yeah" i reply.

"It's boarding" she says smiling at me.

"Oh my gosh! Thank you!" I say shuffling my ticket out of my bag and rushing to the gate.

"Just in time" the worker says happily." I grab my ticket from her and slowly walk down the short hallway between L.A. and the plane. I dont know why I was scared to get on the plane. I guess after everything that happened here I felt like I did several weeks ago when I was leaving Houston. When I left Houston I felt like I was going into the unknown and leaving my life in Houston behind. But now my life here is all I really know and I was scared to go back to the unknown. I take a deep breath in and I step on the plane.