Obsessive Secrets

Chapter 6

I tune out a bit from the song but then my ears begin to listen again as I start to hear the lyrics. “Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breathe? Somebody rip my heart out. And leave me here to bleed.” And those lyrics remind me back to the nightmare. All those years of listening to that song and those lyrics never meant a single thing to me but now, now it was as if this song was describing everything I feared. I love Ashton so much and I know he loves me but is it enough? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want him to hurt me. Were we going to end up just hurting each other? Am I going to be the reason his heart breaks and was he going to be the reason mine splits? Suddenly I feel cold and uneasy. I felt my hands shake a bit and my head was beginning to hurt. Then I hear Lara's phone go off. She must’ve forgotten to turn the ringer off. I lean over her carefully making sure not to wake her and I see it’s a message from Michael. I keep forgetting they are 6 hours ahead. They all must be up early for an interview. I knew that last time I read a message from one of the guys to someone else bad things happened but I saw that Michael is saying something about Ashton. Thank goodness Lara still has the same passcode so I open it up and read the whole message.

“Lara hey! I know this is crazy but Daniella is your best friend and I was wondering if you were with her. Ashton’s worried about her but he doesn't want her to know so can you just look after her. I hope you have a wonderful morning when you wake up. Text me when you wake up :) :)” the message from Michael reads. I smile at the message at first, come on Michael is obviously flirting with her. But then I frown and I feel sad again. I knew Ashton would be worried about me. I set the phone to my side and I lie down and I turn my head so that my face is facing Lara’s and then her eyes flutter open.

“Are you still awake?” she says restlessly.

“Hmm yeah I can’t really seem to fall asleep.” I whisper.

“Ashton?” she asks.

“Maybe.” I whisper back.

"Don't worry, he's fine. And so are you." She tries to comfort me and hugs me sleepily. I sigh and close my eyes so she'll think I'm trying to sleep. After a couple of minutes I can hear light snores escaping Lara's lips. I just lie there awake, not trusting myself to fall asleep.

 Ashton's POV

"Has she answered yet?" I ask Michael  frantically, pacing back and forth in front of him.

"No, it's like 2 in the morning for them, they're probably asleep. Just calm down." I release a frustrated sigh and sit down on the couch in the small room. We're waiting to go on for an early interview at BBC Radio 1. The other boys are a little grumpy for having to wake up so early but I didn't sleep much, in fact I didn't sleep at all. I just couldn't. I was worried and I didn't want to have to go through another one of those stupid dreams. I run my hands through my hair and rest my elbows on my knees. I rub the back of my neck, continuing to fidget with my fingers and the bracelets on my wrist.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" Calum asks as he walks past me, noticing the dark circles under my eyes. I look up at him and shake my head. "God, why not?" He asks, squatting down to my level.

"I'm fine." Is all I say. He's clearly not convinced and shakes his head.

"Look, Daniella's fine. She's with Lara, ok? You've been away from her for months at a time before. It's been 24 hours. What's wrong? What's different now?" He's pushing me towards an answer, and a part of me wants to answer. Before I can a woman comes in and tells us it's time to go on. I get up quickly leaving an annoyed Calum following behind me. We get into the room and are introduced.

"Welcome 5 Seconds of Summer! Ashton, Calum, Michael and Luke!" We all do the usual thank you for having us and so on and the announcer continues talking. "So, you're here in England for some promo for your new album is that right?" He asks us. I wasn't in the mood to answer that, luckily Luke was.