I'm Not Who You Think

Chapter 9: How Close is too Close?

Jake had one of my arms, 

Well my hand, 

And he gripped it tightly.  

He probably thought he was holding it softer than he really was.

But it almost hurt.

He had it pinned to the locker behind me.  

The metal was cold on my skin.  

I could feel myself trembling,

And I'm sure he felt it too.

I bit my lower lip.

He was so close, 

I could feel the warmth from his body.  

I could smell the hint of mint from his breath, which was hitting my face in small puffs.

I could smell his shampoo.

At the same time I wanted to stay,

But I also wanted to back away.

This was too close.  

I promised myself people wouldn't get emotionally close.

But I never realized how scared I was of physical closeness.

My breath was picking up, 

But my eyes never left his.  

And his never left mine.

They were steady and soft.

But I could also feel thousands of questions circling behind them. 

There was a tension building up between us, 

His body merely inches away from mine.  

I kept my eyes on his,

And neither of us spoke a word.

We just stood there.

I felt panicked for a moment.  

Suddenly his gaze dropped.  

A soft sigh escaped his lips.

He closed his eys with his head tilted down.

After a second he opened them and looked back up.

However, he didn't look directly at me before he spoke.

"Stevie..."

His voice was soft, 

His accent light.  

The way he said my name made my knees tremble.  

This was all too much.

I wanted to just run away before I felt any worse.

The anxiety in me was building and I could feel it.

It was almost to the point I wanted to cry.

Sam hasn't even been this close to me for more than two minutes.

And here we were just standing here.

He titled his head back up to look at me.  

His finger gently ran down my forearms, 

Running over every cut.  

I inhaled loudly and closed my eyes.

His skin felt like ice against mine.

Even though I wanted to, I didn't pull away.

I could feel the tears building up in my eyes.

He didn't ask me why.