I'm Not Who You Think

Chapter 3: that girl.

We accept Jake into our circle

because he fits so naturally.

Samantha is so obviously interested.

The way she smiles whenever he speaks,

or how she's always asking him questions.

She seems to be stuck to his side, like a puppy,

and I never know whether to laugh or not.

Because it's so obnoxious.

In fact, the way most people

Go about trying to get someone to "like" them.

It seems so, well--

Fake.

***  

"Hey Jake why don't you come hang with us?" 

Sam asks one Friday at lunch.

He's been here two weeks, and from the looks of it 

He and Sam get along fantastic.  

I could tell Sam is nervous.

She bit the corner of her lower lip,

and she taps her fingers on the table.

Her leg bounces nervously, quickly, up and down,

Jake looks from Samantha 

To me.

"It'll be fun," I add, nonchalantly,

As I pick up a piece of lettuce, 

Look at it with disgust, 

And swallow.  

Four large gulps of water.  

I almost feet it go 

Straight to my stomach.  

This is the first thing I've eaten 

In three days.

I've fasted before, but never this long.  

Recently, I've been eating around,

375 calories or less a day.  

Sometimes I end up eating up to 900,

Those are the days I end up standing over the toilet

But lately, I'm determined.  

Pretty.  

Perfect.

 But I won't stop there.

I don't think I'll ever be able to stop,

Until the day I die.

I look back up after eating my salad.

Jake is already looking at me, 

His expression softens, 

As he looks down at his own water bottle,

And begins to spin it around.

His thin fingers fit around the entire bottle,

but he only uses a few to get it spinning.

"I guess I could," he said softly.

I've never seen Sam smile so big.  

I can see her relax a little more,

As she begins to speak,