I'm Not Who You Think

Chapter 12: promises.

Chapter 12 -- Promise; Promise.

Breakdown. 

That's what happens when you fall for the wrong person.

He was with Sam.

I ended up with his cousin.

It wasn't fair to either of us.

I suppose that is also what happens when,

You realize someone is exactly like you.

And it is the one person who you'd never want that for.

Promises were made,

But I'm not sure they can be kept.

Promises, where Jake told me he would eat.

And I tried to tell him I would too.

But I can't keep that promise,

And after all-

Aren't promises meant to be broken?

***

Stephen has not tried talking to me.

I'm not sure if Jake talked to him,

Or if he caught on;

Or maybe, just maybe,

He had the same frame of mind as I.

We made eye contact in the hall,

But that was it.

Sam and I haven't talked in a while.

And lunch seems tense.

She tries to avoid it most days.

This leaves Jake and I in silence.

Both of us watching the other,

To see if we eat.

To see if we keep each other's promises.

I've been eating.

I kept my promise.

But what he doesn't know,

Is that after every meal I head straight to the bathroom.

Where my lunch ends up in the toilet instead.

Jake watches me eat,

Every bite that enters my mouth.

I cringe after each chew.

And after I've finished the sandwich,

I stood up to excuse myself.

This time, instead of letting me,

Jake stood up.

"No," he said, "Sit back down."

My eyes grew wide with fear,

And I felt myself start to shake softly.

His dark hair swept over his eyes,

As he stared me down.

His eyes pierced into mine.

I gulped, and sat back down.

His eyes stayed glued on mine.

I felt the food stay in me,

And I felt tears began to swell in my eyes.

I needed nothing more than to rid myself of all of this.