I'm Not Who You Think

Chapter 11: Hopeless.

After Jake walked in, 

My mouth dropped.  

He looked like a deer in headlights.

His eyes were wide, his jaw slightly dropped.

It was obvious he wanted to look away, or at least run away.

But his feet seemed to be stuck to the ground.

And honestly, 

Everything happened so fast, 

I didn't know what to think.  

Sure, I wanted him to be angry.

At the same time, I didn't know he would have walked in on it happening.

Of course we stopped.

But I couldn't stop staring at Jake.

As if I were the one now stuck in headlights.

Finally, Jake turned away.

I heard Stephen mumble something. 

He was already stumbling around and squriming into his pants.

He looked as if he were about to say something more,

But I didn't pay attention.  

I got up in a hurry.

Within less than a minute, I was back into all my clothes.

Add another thirty seconds and my shoes were back on.

Five minutes later I was running back to my house.

Seeing as how Stephen drove me here.

I had no other choice.

When I got home,

The house was completely empty.

Guilt instantly started rushing through me.

As I ran up to my room,

It all hit me at once.

With every second passing, I felt worse and worse.

It was like hitting a brick wall of realization.

I used a boy, 

Just to make Jake jealous.  

And it wasn't just any boy, either.

It was Jake's cousin.

This wasn't my intetion at all.

I wanted to make him mad.

Just enough to let him know how bad I felt.

I wasn't supposed to be the one feeling bad in this situation.

Things just couldn't seme to go right.

I used a boy.

To get back at Jake.

Why? 

How?

It's not like me to be a vengeful person.

It isn't like me at all to want to hurt someone.

But I did.

Jake texted me a day later, 

It said: 

Stevie, I honestly cannot believe you. I understand we are not dating so it should not concern me, but that was my cousin. And I know you had no feelings except that you wanted revenge. Why is that fair? To him, to you, or even to me? Yes, I will admit that I have some feelings for Sam. Obviously, or I wouldn't b staying with her. You need to understand this. Please. You and I... What we have is different. It's a bond. I know that I couldn't have with anyone else. Please understand that? You mean so much to me. But you can't mean anything to me in that way...