I'm Not Who You Think

Chapter 10: Revenge isn't Always So Sweet.

Sometimes I wonder why.

Why am I so hurt?

Why do I hate myself so much?

But here lately, 

I've been wondering, 

Why do people lie? 

I understand petty lies, 

Because I give them every day.

But, if you like someone, 

Just tell them.  

And if you dont, 

Well tell them too.  

In the long run, 

The truth hurts less than a lie.

I guess that's where I'm the hypocrite.

Because I'm lying to Sam on a daily basis.

Her and Jake are together, still.

Even after all that.

And here I am pretending I don't think about him constantly.

I haven't told her.

Doesn't that constitute as a lie?

My thoughts were spinning in circles again.

As memories from the past few weeks clogged my mind.

Jake kissing my scars.  

Jake telling me everything will be okay.  

Jake sitting in my room, 

Serenading me until two in the morning.  

Jake telling me he likes me.

There was so much.

That it didn't even seem real.

It still wasn't fair, though.

To him, Sam, or me.

Because there's still Jake being with Sam.

It seems like they shouldn't be together.

Then again, I thought that from the very start.

I guess I thought he'd end it with her.  

Especially after hanging out with me so often.

I guess I thought he'd actually want me.  

Especially after admitting his feelings for me.

But I shouldn't be sad about it.  

I'm completely used to being let down.

In fact, I should have expected it.

I don't know why I didn't.

But it still hurts.  

I still can't wrap my head around the fact, 

That my best friend is falling in love with, 

The guy I want the most.

It's funny too because I've never really let myself admit my feelings.

Especially for a guy.

I know he makes her happy,