DEAD ASS LOVE! (Deadpool x Reader)(EDITING)

Roller Skating

I felt a large hand over my face and opened my eyes to see Wade dead asleep on the floor, His body was twisted almost like a ferret making me even more confused- "what the.." I whispered soon tried getting up but felt a huge headache pop up in my brain making me lay back down. Wade was mumbling in his sleep which I wasn't surprised. I heard a loud thumping of music next door, What the hell is even going on- all I remember is just talking to Wade and his friend but somehow I feel like someone hit me with a truck...next thing I hear is Wade waking up. My eyes widen and pretended to be asleep. I do not feel like dealing with his over-sharing and talkative ass. He is probably the one who did this! I woke up on the floor, a hand over my face and A large headache so I have no idea what the actual fuck is going on. I felt wade's hand move and his mumbling turning into laughter. "I know you're awake!~ you arent very slick after all. Maybe you should try practicing that because I can see your eyes twitch as if you are staring right at me." He spoke with a cocky tone. How the hell does this man - Nevermind that, I got up and look at him with a death glare as he looked around.

 He was still fully in his suit making me wonder what really happened, "What Did you do?" I look at him with a snappy look making him put his hands out innocently. "Well first off why do you think this is my fault!? you got drunk out of the lemonade at My friend's bar!"I look at him with my head tilted like a curious dog, I soon notice the bloodstains on his suit a bit making me get even more irritated. "Wade don't dare lie! I know I was there but what happened you have bloodstains on your damn suit." I facepalm and sigh from the pounding headache I have. "Uh well, some dude - Like got pissed at you so I did my little job of making sure he shuts his mouth up. Plus Weasel Reported saying that he has been a dick to everyone there so he kinda deserved his hand being chopped off by my lovely katanas! so your welcome Y/N I know I'm a great person~" He poses cutely making me shake my head, I gotta admit he is kinda funny sometimes but still I had no idea what that lemonade had inside of it causing me to have a huge hangover. "Can I ask a favor!" He said unexpectedly making me roll my eyes, "What is it?" I said while slowly getting up "Can you make pancakes-" He said with a hopeful look making me shake my head "No." I sigh, "Please!!!" He begged again. "NO." I put my hands on my face. "Please Please Pretty please Please PLEAAAASE," He said dramatically "OKAY FINE FINE GEEZ," I grumble as he cheered. I didn't understand why the man couldn't cook for himself or go get stuff but if I don't do it he'll keep on begging. "Thank youuuuu" He said with a girly voice making me slightly laugh. I walked to the kitchen with him following behind me, He sat on the counter with his legs swinging back and forth. You grabbed a pan and began to grab some ingredients, I began to cook while Deadpool talked about how much Wolverine envy his powers. I listened to him speak while you made pancakes for the merc, "So you kill people for money?" I ask him quietly, "Yep! I sure do!! It's actually pretty useful in fact It's better than being an X-whore or some weird superhero whose ego is the size of an elephant."He said while making me nod, "it's understandable" I inform him soon after I finish the pancakes and turned the stove off. I make my way to the corner where the syrup was. I frown seeing the syrup was on the top shelf of the open cabinet, I sigh and slowly try reaching for it. Wade began laughing at my attempt at getting the syrup making me get annoyed. 

It's not my fault that this tall asshole has really high cabinets in his messy apartment, He walks up and grabs the syrup from behind me making me get really red. I step away as he tilted his head, THIS MAN KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING! He chuckles and I walk to the stove. I scooped up the pancakes and put it on a plate as Deadpool grabbed a fork and knife excitedly making me giggle. I slide the plate over to the man as he ate, I put away the ingredients and the other stuff. "These pancakes are amazing! Your officially the pancake God Y/N. These taste like literal heaven and what makes it better that it was made by the best roommate eveeerrr~!" He said while waving his fork around, I laugh and went to my room to grab some clothes and take a quick shower. I walk out, "I'll be in the bathroom," he nodded with a thumbs up with pancakes stuffed in his face making me laugh. I walk into the bathroom and lock it. Some moments later I was drying my hair when I heard a loud gunshot and screaming. I gasp and open the door to see Wade On top of the kitchen counter shooting at the floor making me put my hands on my ears. "DIE! DIE!" Wade shot the floor multiple times. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?!?" I yell at him while he screams, "THERES A WHOLE ASS COCKROACH!!" He screams back at me. I glare at him and slowly get closer, I grab a shoe and squish the roach making him gag. "Wade, why are you scared of a roach?" I said while glaring at him with my half-wet hair. "IM not scared of them I'm disgusted by them!" He said while he waved around his pistol. I sigh and start to walk away just to hear more gunshots, "WADE!" I snap at him making him laugh. "Just double checking! Ya know what happens if you don't they somehow always come back and make life hell for you! That's how it always is with villians~" He said while hopping off the counter, I shake my head and moved aside his bullets. I guessed that he changed his suit or washed it due to the bloodstains not there. I sigh and put on my shoes, I felt relieved that I didn't have work. "I'm bored there isn't that much to do in New York-" I say to him as he was reloading his gun. He turned to me making me tilt my head, "Roller skating is a thing ya know" he said randomly making me burst out laughing. "Sure!" I say with excitement making him nod, I didn't know Deadpool had such weird fun hobbies but im down. I'm not sure if ill be good at it but we'll see!
                                                                                 Time Skip

Deadpool and I were running from a policeman as I was being dragged by him, "WHY WOULD YOU STEAL THE ROLLER SKATES!" I said loudly making me almost trip, "UHM MAYBE BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD THEM.," he said while laughing. I was soon getting tired from running and I was huffing loudly. "IM GETTING TIRED WADE HOW LONG WILL THIS BE!"I say as Deadpool took out his gun, "DUDE DONT -" I then trip over the sidewalk crack making me fall, Deadpool Scooped me up and ran as fast as he can. I burst out laughing while the police officer kept chasing, he then pointed his gun making me slap his cheek. "NO KILLING! THAT'S A POLICE OFFICER WADE" I said making him groan of annoyance. "FINE YOU ARE NO FUN GEEz," he said as he then grabbed a rock and threw it at the police officer making him stumble over. We soon lost them and Deadpool was out of breathe making me laugh. We were at the park and it was a bright sunny day, People were staring at me and him due to his suit and weapons. I was sitting on the bench while Deadpool was putting on his roller skates, I saw that he drew a dick on the side of it with one of his markers making me shake my head. I then put mine on and they actually fit pretty well, He sighed and gave me a thumbs up. He then got up and balanced himself. He fixed a bit of his mask and soon tried twirling around yet he almost fell at the same time. I giggle at him and get up as I try to balance myself as well. A person tried taking a pic making Wade almost pull out his gun. I got up and began to roll against the payment trying not to panic. Deadpool was already just circling me. "Wow have you ever even tried this? looks like you just got out of a whole ass chamber that tortures you. Need any help?" he said with a cocky tone making me get a bit irritated. I soon tried skating my way away from him but lost balance, "Woa-WOAH" I started wobbling all over the place while Wade laughed at me. I fell on the ground with a thud making me grumble. Wade decided to do another circle around me and then held his hand out to help me, "Thank you" I said sighing while taking it- I noticed that Wade didn't let go making me panic about what he was trying to do, He gently started moving as The motion made me move too. His gloved hand gripped a bit tighter while he went along the sidewalk. Minutes after me and Wade were having a blast with the roller skates, of course, I was still clinging onto him because I didn't want to fall but as we were going down the sidewalk we made eye contact while we held the hands of each other. 

Wade instantly looked away and continued to move, We were picking up pace. "If you fall I fall So don't fuck up things! By the way, Your hands are really small what the hell-" He said with a goofy manner making me a glare. "Okay then- Can we please go slower!!" I stated with a rushing tone, "Pshhh are you scared~" Wade made a little stumble on purpose to scare me. "STOP OH MY GOD," I said with a shaking tone, I clung to him for more balance as he went more forward. "What if we go down the hill thing?"Wade spoke with excitement, I sighed and nodded. "Okay yes it seems like fun-" he cut me off and grabbed me to slide towards the top of the hill. "This seems scary-" I cling onto him to not fall due to my shaky legs from the roller skates. He laughed and grabbed onto me, "Ready?" He said with a bubbly tone. "1..2..." I was preparing myself knowing im roller skating with an insane bounty hunter. "3!!" before I could realize I felt Wade's heavy body pull me forward making me scream. He laughed and grabbed his phone as he took a selfie. I was screaming my ass off as we went down the hill- I then started to smile seeing how fun this was yet that smile changed when we lost balance. "WAIT WAIT IS THAT -" he stopped when he stumbled over making me fall down with him, I screamed and felt a pair of hands cling onto me, after the fall was over I slowly open my eyes to see Wade stiff.

 My eyes widen and slowly try to reach his face when his hand blocked it. "I'm- fine that was actually really fun but I think i snapped my neck! Eh, it's fine I mean are you okay?" he said while chuckling. It was weird because we just fell down a hill and Im perfectly fine.. I noticed that I was almost laying on top of him making me instantly get up. He got up as well with the crack of his bones including his neck making me cringe. He then started laughing really hard at the fact that we fell, he took out his somehow not cracked phone and showed me the selfie of him and me. I giggled and sigh while I dusted myself off. He adjusted his mask once again and held the back of his neck while slowly making it pop. "Eww," I said in disgust making him chuckle, even more, we got back to where our stuff was at and I put my normal shoes on. "I feel so sore on my legs.." I said while sighing as he already took off his skates. "Yeah it's what happens when you fall down a hill with a hot stuff like me!~," he said teasing me as he poked my cheek, I shake my head and get up. "I saw Colossus looking for us and I'm already guessing why so we should book it- I don't want to deal with his stern boring ass." Wade talked in a mocking voice making me giggle. We walked back to the apartment while talking about all sorts of things yet Deadpool was mainly talking about pervy stuff that made me laugh. Wade isn't so bad, he is actually really fun and cool! He has a good heart and I guess we formed a very good friendship after all. He can be cocky and a pervert sometimes but that doesn't matter. He flirts with me too much sometimes making me just laugh at this point with his pick-up lines. He is probably one of the goofiest people I have ever met..