DEAD ASS LOVE! (Deadpool x Reader)(EDITING)

Deadpool's Trauma Info

(HUGE TRIGGER WARNING !!!! TRIGGER WARNING!!!)

Wade Wilson aka Deadpool has been through hell ever since he was born, his childhood was taken away from him, the things he has been through have to be the most horrible and scariest things.  I can understand why he went insane and totally mentally unstable to where he gave up on caring at all. 

He has been through so many things, Being violated and assaulted sexually (even when he was a child, abused and verbally abused, Used and taken advantage of etc. I'll list the things and it will mostly be explained how low his self-esteem is low... THIS WILL ALSO INCLUDE LOTS OF SPOILERS FROM THE MOVIE!

Wade as a child gotten pushed around and overall had a very bad childhood with his dad leaving when he was very young leaving him and his mother. He felt that it was impossible to love him for how he has turned out to be and it left Wade heartbroken every single time things happened to him. His childhood was rough.. by rough I mean really rough. He got molested by his own uncle and also abused by another family member multiple times. There are many things that happened in his childhood which would probably be a whole ass chapter. Overall his childhood damaged him so much. He grew to have many disorders, he got depressed.. really depressed at so many different ages, in fact, he was already messed up before he was DEADPOOL... He has the disorders of Depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, ODD, ADHD.(if you do not know any of these disorders just look them up.) He went through all of these disorders ALONE in his head and he had to deal with all of it by just bottling it all up. He had never had any support from anyone because people thought he was a freak. His child self didn't know any better and honestly was already suicidal at age 11... his teenage self was also very difficult and the more he goes through the more he falls apart.

Next is his early 20's, he served in the U.S. Army Special Forces before he was dishonorably discharged. He went through things there too. He witnessed many deaths and soon got discharged but became a mercenary for money. As soon as he became a mercenary he began losing himself and becoming more bloodthirst to kill people who deserve death. Every kill gotten him more messed up in the head. His Mental Instability soon destroying him day by day, he then met his old girlfriend Vanessa who he loved so much. Which was in Deadpool 1 and 2, Vanessa and him got along due to their past similar trauma but soon that bond was broken after he gotten diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. His heart was broken knowing that as soon as he feels happy it gets ruined by the second. With tears filled in his eyes, he didn't want her to be with a man who was soon dying. He then met a person who offered him a "cure" that will make him powerful and strong just like every man's dream. He thought it was sketchy at first but after he came home. He began crying near the window out of fear.  He took the chance finally and left Vanessa with one last cuddle and a kiss. 

Deadpool spent a year I think in the lab where They mutated people for them to become powerful soldiers who could be used as a weapon. Wade was told that it would cure his cancer and make him stronger, the poor man believed them... He soon started to catch on to what was going on but was tortured more due to his non-stop talking. He got tortured so much to where he was dying until he finally mutated. They made a mistake by torturing him more because he became immortal and very strong. Adding to his crafty skills from being a mercenary and part of the army he has gotten very strong. Besides that, he got traumatized from the fact that they tricked him and tortured him every minute making him sob for mercy. 

After he escaped he looked for the man who made him like that for at least 3 years, once he finally found him he was even angrier just to found out that they couldn't fix him, they couldn't fix his scarred face and his immortal powers. Colossus tried to help him but not even the metal giant could hold the man down. Wade found out that they kidnapped Vanessa and used her as bait. All after that happened he soon finally apologized to Vanessa for leaving her, he didn't want to show his face due to his fear of thinking she will be the same as the rest of the judgment. Vanessa didn't care at all. She still loved Wade for who he was but in Deadpool 1 throughout the scenes, he was always putting a mask on. 

When Deadpool got used as a lab rat all of his feelings jumped upon him and made him completely insane. The Avengers also stated that he was a cold-blooded monster who will never be a hero. X-men stated the same, Wade hearing that made him feel even sadder. It felt like everything was starting all over again. With the world hating him for his flaws when he never meant to end up this way. Nobody even knew not even his old girlfriend of how much he was in pain. of how much he wanted to kill himself because he was overwhelmed and scared. He was still a human after all who had feelings yet people assumed he had lost them all. He couldn't even go outside without being judged and making kids cry for how he looked. He loves kids and it breaks his heart seeing them cry JUST because of him. Vanessa and him were happy together but Wade was still in his pile of trauma. Deadpool got more scarred with the things he had to see and go through. He ended up hunting down a gang where they were holding up a sex trafficking thing. He saw many things.. many women being violated and assaulted or abused. Each time he had a mission he seemed to get worse and worse for what he had to see and kill. Yet at the same time, he enjoyed getting revenge on the people who caused pain for others. He enjoyed slaughtering people. But it didn't mean that he completely lost it. He was on edge of losing his mind but he still had human empathy and feelings.

Once he was done with the mission he came home to Vanessa giving him a surprise with their anniversary. She said she was ready to have a family with him and finally give him the happiness he deserved. Until the gang leader came for revenge for what Wade did, Wade's heart dropped seeing they weren't aiming for him. They were aiming for his Wife, the bullet was shot and Wade screamed in fear for His love. He tried to shield her but it was too late. His eyes landed on Vanessa's body landing on the floor.  He cried so hard begging for her to wake up when Vanessa's eyes locked his. He felt the anger rush up and he soon got revenge on the person who killed Vanessa. After it, Wade had finally broke... He finally lost it and tried killing himself once again. He became so depressed where he also self-harmed etc, Colossus is probably the only one who knows about some of his issues and he tried his best to nurse and help him. He was too depressed to even move. He blamed himself for the death of his wife and all he wanted was to be happy with her. (This was in Deadpool 2 btw) He then got slight hope when Colossus soon tried for the last time for him to join the x-men. You already know what happened if you read the chapters of Deadpool cannons and facts etc. At the end of Deadpool, he was soon dying due to the collar around his neck making him lose his healing factor meaning cancer will kill him. He had hoped this time.... He had hope that MAYBE this will work and finally put him to peace yet even without his healing factor.. He was doomed to be cursed with life. 

Wade has also been pushed around by many people, Avengers despised him and called him many things when he just wanted to join and be part of a family. He fell apart each day, of course, he has healed after Vanessa's death but he put a wall over him where he promised he will never get attached again. 

Wade also has broken the fourth wall in the comics, he knows that he is a comic book character and probably is the only one aware of Stan Lee's death which broke him more. 

Little did you know that The merc fell in love with you deeply. I apologize if I do not really put more things about you in the fanfiction but I will soon once you two get more and closer. This whole book will also be mostly about his trauma and how he found a way to heal. I hope you enjoy the next chapters and It is not needed to read all of Wade's past but it's just to explain why he is also very messed up...