Scars [Book 1]✅

Seventeen

Louis smiled like an idiot the whole next day. He knew that it wasn't that big of a deal, but in his defense, he liked the curly haired boy, who hardly talked at all, never did anything, and hardly laughed. So to be able to turn their friendship into something possibly more, being able to kiss him and become close with him, made Louis happy. He also loved the fact that he had seen two certain dimples and smile appear so much in one day.

"Stop being so happy. You're going to drain everyone else's happy by being this happy," his sister, Lottie, spoke, and he rolled his eyes before standing from the couch.

"Shut up," he told her and pulled out his phone, opening his messages with Harry. When he visited he managed to get Harry's number, and they texted for a little bit before Harry had gotten his phone taken away from him, his mum insisting that he slept.

"Can I take the car to see Harry?" he asked his mum from the kitchen. She nodded, not taking her eyes off the food she was making.

"You're obsessed," Lottie grumbled. "What makes him better then all your other friends? You hardly know him," his, now annoying sister, commented.

Louis huffed, crossing his arms, "I'll have you know, he is like... the cutest person I've ever met. Plus, I'm the only person he can trust at school, me and only me. I really like him," he explained, mumbling the last part, "I'm leaving," he stated rather loudly, grabbing his mother's car keys before exiting the house and going off.

❊ ❊ ❊ ❊

"Hi, Anne," Louis greeted sheepishly, walking up to Harry's mum. Being incredibly sweet and nice, she had told him the other day to call her Anne since he was friends with Harry. More than friends she hoped, but no one had to know about that.

She turned, and smiled at him, "Hi, love, you here to see Harry?" she smiled, obviously knowing the answer. Louis nodded, and she gestured for him to go inside. So Louis nervously turned the handle, and walked in.

As he entered, the curly haired boy looked up, catching Louis' gaze on him. "Hi," he whispered, not truly believing Louis was visiting him again.

He's not visiting you, he doesn't even like you, he pities you and your worthless ass

Harry grimaced at the words, scratching at his ear as if it would make the voices go away. Louis noticed his behavior, and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

Tell Louis to go away

Tell him not to come back

He doesn't actually like you, Harry, he can't, it's impossible to like you

Harry whimpered, his hands holding his ears, "Stop stop stop stop," he mumbled, screwing his eyes shut.

Louis wandered closer, holding his arm out to Harry, "Hey hey hey, are you alright?" he asked worriedly, kneeling down to the younger boys' level. Harry shook his head.

Tell him off, Harry

Don't let him talk to you, you're not good enough

He doesn't want to deal with your shit

He doesn't even want to deal with you

"Go," Harry muttered, feeling tears brim his eyes, "go go go go go," he continued, rambling on, not able to concentrate on what he was saying but more on making sure he obeyed the voices.

"Harry, I c-"

"Go!" Harry shouted, tugging fiercely on his curls, "don't come back don't talk to me don't care about me!" he exclaimed, "you're too good, you're too good for me! You don't want to deal with me and you don't want to deal with my problems and you shouldn't like me! You can't like me, I-I'm w-worthless a-and....," he sobbed, trailing on.

Louis' mouth hung open, shocked, "Harry, stop," he begged, "you're not worthless, not-"

"No, stop stop just get away!" Harry interrupted, "please," he whimpered, sobbing. By then Anne had heard the commotion, and rushed in, taking her son into her arms. She shushed him, rubbing his back in attempt to calm him down as he mumbled things to her. Louis had backed up by then, not knowing what to do. Though within minutes, the curly haired boy was asleep, out like a light.

Harry's mum turned to Louis, carefully getting up and sitting towards the end of the bed. "I'm sorry Louis," Anne apologized, speaking quietly with her eyes glued to the ground. He pursed his lips, nodding slightly. "Harry. He has a schizo-affective disorder," she told him, pausing for a second, "doctors have told me that everyone who has it is a bit different. Uhm, with Harry, it's sort of where he has like, voices in his mind, telling him to do this and do that or say this and say that. I'm not very sure of what they say, because I can't read his mind, but he used to tell me that the voices aren't nice. That they would tell him he's ugly, or stupid, or useless. They told him what to do, but they told him bad things. When he was in seventh grade they told him to cheat on a test because he was dumb, and he did it. The voices somehow persuade or convince him to do what they say," she stopped, wiping her eyes gently, "he's gotten uhm, good at declining what they say. But not all the time. It started freshman year of high school that these voices told him not to eat his dinner. I asked him why he didn't eat and he told me, "they said so.". So he started to starve himself. Off and on it went, some weeks he would eat and then a week went by without eating anything," she sighed, and Louis took a seat on the empty chair.

"It's hard. It really is. He doesn't know if they're lying or not. He can't tell the difference. He thinks he's worthless, ugly, fat, or dumb. But he's not. He uhm, h-he self harms," she stopped, letting a tear roll down her cheek, "though I believe you already knew of that. He thinks he deserves it, but he doesn't. He sort of believes people are incapable of loving him. All of this builds up, plus the fact that he used to get bullied at his old school, and now this school too now. So he 'punishes' himself. I can't put him in therapy though. H-He won't do it and it would make him think he's even worse. The pills help sometimes but then other times it's like they don't work at all, and the next thing I know these voices he has are demanding that he starve himself, and cut himself, and exclude himself f-from everybody," by that point Anne was crying, shaking her head as she looked down. She closed her eyes though, and took a deep breath, looking up weakly to face the boy who now wore tear stained cheeks. "He likes you though, Louis. He denies anything the voices say about you. When they told him to tell you to go away earlier he didn't want to. I guess they were just too much for him this time, but the other times he was able to ignore it. You make him feel happy and all smiley again, which is amazing. He likes you, and I really hope that you just... stay. I hope you stay and help him. God know he needs it," she whispered, her voice nearly audible at the end.

Louis sniffled a bit, wiping away the small tears scattered on his cheeks. He nodded, and licked his lips. "Don't worry," he spoke, his eyes and mind traveling to the sleeping boy, who needed so much love. "I'll stay."

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Yay I really liked this chapter, Louis found out quite a bit about Harry.

At least 20 reads for an update!!