Before I say anything about your book I want to remind you that these are just suggestions! I am by no means a professional:) I am sorry if I was a little harsh, it was not mean to hurt you in any way! okay let's get to it!
Book cover: 10/10. I loved your book cover. It's simple yet still contains the info we need.
Grammar: 7/10. Just like almost every other wattpad book;your book has grammar mistakes. That's okay! If you want me too I can comment where I see grammar mistakes:)
Descriptions: 5/10. Your story doesn't contain a lot of descriptions. Most of the time the reader wants to know what the room looks like, their surroundings, wha characters look like. When Raymond was look jasmine up and down you can include details of what jasmine looks like, such as: "she has beach blonde hair that the sun reflected off of. Her clothes hug her curves just right, making her look even more sexy." Just something like that:)
Characters: 7/10. I would like to know more about the characters. Maybe have Raymond look and the mirror and describe his features. Even though you have a picture of him it would be nice to have a description:) I would also like to know what the characters is thinking and doing.
Real life situation?: 10/10. This definitely could happen in real life.
Cliche?: 10/10. So far it's not cliche:)
Total: 49/60
Final review: I did enjoy your book and I would definitely recommend it! Some places in your book the spacing was off; that's not something bad and it's an easy fix:) I also think you need to add more of the characters thoughts in. The readers like to connect with the characters and it's hard to do that without knowing what they're thinking. Personally I would like to know more about Raymond. I didn't get to know what her was thinking or his relationship with some of the people he talked to, like if he liked them or not, ect. Readers want to know what is going through the characters mind that makes them think a certain way. Switching up the characters pov was sometimes confusing. One minus I would be reading Raymond's pov, the next I was reading Jasmines. I would suggest to put who's pov it is at the beginning of the chapter so the reader knows who they're dealing with. Over all your book was really good; what I read of it.
Just another reminder: THESE ARE JUST SUGGESTIONS, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO USE THEM!! IM NO PROFESSIONAL:)
YOU ARE READING
Lauryn's Book Reviews
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