Before I say anything about your book I want to remind you that these are just suggestions! I am by no means a professional:) I am sorry if I was a little harsh, it was not mean to hurt you in any way! okay let's get to it!
Cover: 8/10. I love your cover but you need to put your username on it so nobody steals it:)
Grammar: 9/10. I didn't see many mistakes
Descriptions: 8/10. You need to add more of what your characters are feeling:)
Characters: 9/10. I like your characters but I would like to know more of how they're feeling about certain things.
Real life situation?: 10/10 Could happen in real life
Cliche?: 10/10 not cliche yet!
Total: 44/60
Final review: You use a lot of commas, I make this same mistake in my book but it makes it seem choppy. Also in chapter one when you talk about axel and say "let's not get in to details...yet" it makes it seem like she's talking to someone but she's not. I personally wouldn't put that because you don't really think things like that, I like to make my books where they're not actually living in a book ya know? Chapter one when I was reading I was suddenly thrown into the end of the day. usually writers will put something like this —- in between paragraphs signaling a time skip. Also you can make your paragraphs longer, you make yours kind of short:) I do like your book so far! You're doing great!:)
Just another reminder: THESE ARE JUST SUGGESTIONS, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO USE THEM!! IM NO PROFESSIONAL:)
YOU ARE READING
Lauryn's Book Reviews
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