Before I say anything about your book I want to remind you that these are just suggestions! I am by no means a professional:) I am sorry if I was a little harsh, it was not mean to hurt you in any way! okay let's get to it!
book cover:10/10 your cover looks very professional and like it took a lot of editing haha
grammar:7/10 there were some mistakes
characters:8/10 I know a lot about the main character, Fiona, but I don't know much about other characters.
descriptions:9/10 you did well but it could use more descriptions
real life situation?:7/10 I feel like people don't actually talk to themselves when around people, I could 100% be wrong though. Everyone was to in sync in chapter one when they were introducing themselves.
cliche?:10/10
Total: 51/60
final review:
I love the background you gave in the prologue. I saw a comment I agreed with a lot but it's just a suggestion, @BookLoverVenue said that it would've been more interesting to open the book with the rules stated in chapter one. I feel like it would've intrigued people more.
In chapter one when Fiona had to go buy some flower you put "after buying..." and "In my room" to make it more professional you could just put "****" under that chapter or you could put " I finally finished buying what I needed" or "I made my way up to my bedroom." you picked a harder topic to write about and I think you did a good job.
Just another reminder: THESE ARE JUST SUGGESTIONS, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO USE THEM!! IM NO PROFESSIONAL:)
YOU ARE READING
Lauryn's Book Reviews
De Todo{⚠︎︎} 𝗼𝐩𝐞𝐧 {} 𝐜𝐥𝗼𝐬𝐞𝐝 {}𝗼𝐧 𝐡𝗼𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐲𝐲 𝐭𝗼 𝗺𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐛𝗼𝗼𝐤𝐬 If you think your book is good but you really just need someone to tell you what you're doing right and what you're doing wrong, you've...
