IN YOUR MIND. fezco

xxiv. confessions

xxiv. CONFESSIONS

Lulu only dated two people in her life. A guy named Levi, when she was fifteen, and a girl named Rosa, just a few months later. She had met them both in Los Angeles when she was on set. They were originally friends with some of her work partners and she found them interesting and charming. She knew, back then, that it wouldn't last very long but she figured that if she knew right away that she wouldn't spend the rest of her life with them, she wouldn't be too hurt.

She was wrong.

"You know how much I love my job, right?" Lulu asked as she sipped on her milkshake.

"Yeah."

"I dated, like, two people in my life," Lulu said, "And... really, they were cool at first. They didn't really care about my job but... I figured they just thought it was a job like any other, you see? And that was nice 'cause... it really is just a job."

Fezco was entirely focused on Lulu's words. She wasn't one to talk about her personal life either and it felt nice to see her opening up as well.

"But then... they kinda became controlling," Lulu continued, "They wanted to know if I'd have a love interest in my next gig, they wanted to read the script and, like, make sure I wouldn't have nude scenes and shit."

Lulu recalled all the fights whenever they wanted to take a look at the scripts, she recalled falling asleep in tears because she never thought they would be so hateful towards what she was passionate about. She recalled the breakups, filled with screaming and resentment.

"The only thing they associated my job with... was this," Lulu added, "The fact that I might have to kiss someone else, or that I'd be on screen in my underwear or that I'd fake sex and shit," she sighed, "When it's literally just a tiny little part of what I really do."

Lulu breathed out, "But the worst part is that they knew. They knew about my job. I never try to hide it from anyone 'cause I love it so much," she explained with a small smile, "So... yeah I don't date much because... no one should have the right to say that I can't do my job because they think it's cheating, like, what the hell?"

"Yeah, I see," Fezco said, "You got with 'em crazy jealous people."

"Maybe... I don't know," Lulu replied, "I just... I don't wanna be with someone who doesn't trust me and who can't see the difference between real love and what you gotta fake on set."

"You trynna warn me here, Lulu?" Fezco asked with a smile.

Lulu almost choked on her drink, "What? N-No... I was just answering your question."

"Ion know... y'know I like you girl."

"If you say so," she said playfully, "I mean... that's true you called yourself my boyfriend earlier."

"I guess that was the only way to make that creep run off," Fezco said, "I was scared you'd run off too."

Lulu laughed, "I thought about it when you brought me roller skating."

"I'll take ya somewhere else next time," Fezco said, giggling.

"Oh!" Lulu exclaimed, "So you wanna take me out on another date, uh?"

Fezco gently hit her on the shoulder, "Shut up."

She raised her hands in surrender, "Nah, that's... that's cool. I'm down."

... ... ...

They walked out of the restaurant after Lulu forcefully pushed Fezco away so she could pay for their meals and drinks. The boy opened the car door for her and was about to walk to the other side when Lulu grabbed his hand and turned him around, making eye contact with him before shooting a quick look at his lips.

Fezco let out a ragged breath and stared down at her full lips before she gently put a hand on his face and let their lips meet, kissing him softly and smiling when she felt him kissing back with a little more intensity. Their lips moved slowly, they didn't want the kiss to become too heated, yet it was filled with extreme passion and Lulu couldn't help herself and lightly bit Fezco's bottom lip before pulling on the flesh, causing Fezco to let out a soft moan.

Fezco was out of breath and had his eyes glued on Lulu as if she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen when they pulled away, "You know how crazy you driving me, right?"

Lulu smirked, leaning forward and brushing her lips against his', pulling away right when he was about to initiate the kiss, shrugging her shoulders and sitting on the passenger seat, "I don't know, you tell me."

Fezco was dumbfounded for a few seconds before closing his eyes and shaking his head in disbelief, "She gon' be the death of me."

The drive home was rythmed by Lulu rapping and singing every song playing on the radio as Fezco smiled and looked over whenever he could, humming softly to the beat, definitely making Lulu go crazier inside the car.

"Y'know I got a copy of the movie," Lulu hinted as she stepped out of Fezco's car, "I know it's not like going to the movies but..."

"Yo, you serious?" Fezco asked, "Like... we could watch it now?"

Lulu nodded, "Yeah... you think Ash's asleep?"

"Nah... too early for him, why?"

"Okay, let me grab the copy and I'll be right back."

Lulu ran inside her house and bursted inside Fezco's house with a dvd in hand, wiggling her eyebrows with a smug look on her face, "Sup, Ashface?"

Ashtray rolled his eyes at the nickname, "Still pissed at the cops, y'know we were about to—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know but look," she lifted the dvd above her head, "You can watch it now."

"That's freakin' dope," Ashtray said as Lulu gave him the dvd, "Let me set this up."

Fezco was already in the kitchen, making some popcorn for the youngest one, and came back with a full bowl, a bottle of sofa and three cups right when the opening scene started playing.

Lulu turned the lights off and settled herself on the couch, next to Fezco, "Don't be mad at me if I lock myself in the bathroom sometimes, I'm not comfortable watching myself acting."

Right when she said that, she appeared on the screen, wearing a large hoodie on her head and a jogging, with an intense look scribbled on her face as she stared at two people exchanging drugs.

"Yo, girl you serious?" Ashtray said, "You been on there for two seconds and you already badass, Imma like that shit."

Fezco chuckled, keeping his attention fully on the screen, "Word."

And, at some point, Fezco pulled Lulu closer, placing an arm around her waist as she snuggled against his chest, putting her head on his shoulder, feeling her entire body burning up from the inside, butterflies erupting inside her stomach whenever Fezco would draw some patterns on her skin.

And Ashtray noticed, smiling to himself before looking right back at the screen, completely absorbed by the movie.

( ... )

a/n oh god i ship my ship so hard
i hope you guys liked this chapter, tell me your thoughts i ADORE reading comments
tysmmm for the support on this story
i miss euphoria soooo so much