« am i in your mind? sometimes? »
« i'd lie if i said it was jus' sometimes. »
in which lulu jenson has to handle
a bunch of shit and finds herself
looking for comfort in fezco.
[EUP...
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The first night had been excruciating for Lulu. Her body had turned into a painful cage that was impossible to get away from. Every breath had crushed her from the inside, usually followed by a grunt, almost inaudible to everyone outside of Fezco's bedroom. Every movement had felt like torture, reminding her that she had no control over her body and that she had to rely on others to get better.
Letting go of control, for Lulu, was like abandoning herself completely. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it was just not something she was used to doing at all. She had grown up with this idea that trusting others fully would lead to disappointment and pain.
It wouldn't just be a negative experience —Lulu was well aware that trusting people had brought so much joy into her life. She thought about her relationship with Maddy, which was the perfect example of a healthy and meaningful friendship with a hint of palpable love that still made people talk, sometimes questioning the secret nature of their connection.
But she also thought of her relationship with Rue and all the pain it had caused to be so loving and trusting. She hadn't lost Rue, definitely not. But things had changed between them and Lulu would sometimes blame herself for not being there for her enough -even though Rue had turned her back on her more than once.
And, sometimes, she thought she had reached the limit of what she could give to others. But that was exactly when Fezco got into the picture as more than just a friend.
The girl who had been so reluctant at the idea of getting into a relationship with anyone had found herself diving deeper and deeper into this blossoming relationship, not once doubting the choices that were made. Whenever she thought they had both reached the epitome of love, Fezco would do something to prove that it was all endless.
Stolen glances, lingering touches, unexpected kisses, that was Fezco's love language. A morning cup of coffee settled on the kitchen counter for all the times she spent the night, sometimes with a little present next to it. A book that he thought she would like, a poster of her favorite movie, sometimes even jewelry —knowing all too well that Lulu would beg him to stop buying her presents, especially if it was expensive.
But he also knew that his heart would get warmer at the sight of Lulu reading the book he had bought her, settled on the couch as if it was now her home as well, and that his jaw would drop to the floor when he would see her all dressed up and ready for an event, the jewelry adorning her body beautifully.
And that first night, right after her assault, Fezco had never once left Lulu's side, unable to close his eyes and drift to sleep, way too preoccupied by the girl's state and his stomach twisting and hurting whenever a pained whimper would uncontrollably leave Lulu's lips. He had wanted to hug her, make her feel his presence next to her on the bed, but he knew that touching her would hurt her so he stayed by her side, wiping the tears that would roll down her cheeks as she barely slept.
