« am i in your mind? sometimes? »
« i'd lie if i said it was jus' sometimes. »
in which lulu jenson has to handle
a bunch of shit and finds herself
looking for comfort in fezco.
[EUP...
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INNOCENT ANALOGY
Fezco and Lulu were gone, leaving Zahia, Ashtray and Faye alone in the house. The two sisters had been staying over for a few days now and the cohabitation was going smoothly.
Still, it was a little weird for Zahia to know that the house where she had all of her memories was next door and that it was now too dangerous for her to live in it. Sometimes, she would recall the few moments where both of her parents were still together, wondering how things could have gone downhill so quickly.
She wondered if her parents ever thought of her and Lulu, if they regretted leaving them and never turning back. And she wondered if she would ever see them again.
Faye was smoking a joint on the opposite couch and Zahia extended her arm to get the stick. Faye couldn't be bothered and handed her the joint, Ashtray was quick to react, slapping Zahia's hand, "Ow, what was that for?"
"The fuck you doing?" Ashtray asked, glaring at her.
"What's the matter with you? You sell that shit for a living."
"I don't give a fuck," Ashtray replied, "You ain't touching that shit."
Zahia sat back, sighing in annoyance. She knew Ashtray was right and that she shouldn't do drugs. Ever. She knew how easily people became addicted to things like that. She had witnessed it firsthand with Rue —since she used to spend her life at their place, and then she had seen her sister drowning herself in alcohol.
In a sense, Zahia could understand why some people fell into addiction. She would never say it was an easy way out, quite the contrary actually. Even she had wondered if she could have fallen for a trap like this after what her parents had put her through.
But Lulu had saved her. She had been there for her when she was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ADHD, she would always make sure that Zahia would take her pills on time and would often drive her to her therapy sessions. And, most importantly, she had really been a stable emotional support for her through the years, even though she was going through the same life events.
Zahia's heart crushed in her chest when she realized that the person who had been there for her the most, was also the one who had developed an addiction because she probably hadn't received the support and help she actually needed to cope in an healthy way.
"You ever... think about your parents?" Zahia asked, playing with her fingernails nervously, "Like... who they are and... why they left?"
Ashtray was taken aback, definitely not expecting Zahia to mention his parents. He had noticed how her eyes would linger on her house here and there —most certainly losing herself in past memories, how she would sometimes scroll through the pictures on her phone and stare at the childhood ones she had saved in a hidden album.
