IN YOUR MIND. fezco

xxiii. the big day

xxiii. THE BIG DAY

People were coming and going in Lulu's hotel room as she had just wrapped up a YouTube video with the crew of Vogue. She was being given coffee over and over again, alongside food even though she was so nervous she couldn't eat a single thing.

"Lulu, we have to be in the lobby in thirty minutes," Enolla said as she dialed a number on her phone and placed it against her ear, "Pre-ceremony interview."

"Yep, okay," Lulu replied.

"Yes, hello, this is Enolla," she said on the phone before looking at Lulu and pointing a finger at a piece of paper on the bed, "These will be the questions, please take a look at them before the interview."

Lulu nodded as Enolla focused back on her call and walked out of the room, followed closely by a bunch of people. Lulu grabbed the piece of paper and walked onto the balcony, letting out a long sigh as Fezco and Zahia were already there.

But they hadn't had the chance to see what she was wearing for the first part of the day and they stood starstruck, Zahia gasping loudly as she was facetiming with Ashtray and Fezco's mouth opening wide.

"Ma, y'should've warned us before coming outside," Fezco spoke, scratching the back of his neck.

Lulu frowned, "What?"

"Uh, cause of that dress, dummy?" Zahia blurted out.

Lulu finally looked over at the pair and felt her entire body warming up at how they were staring, "Stop it!"

Fezco grabbed her wrist and pulled him against him, kissing her temple gently, "You look gorgeous."

Lulu shot him a look, her cheeks burning up even more, "Thanks..."

"Ash, look!" Zahia said as she turned the phone in Lulu's direction.

"Yeah, look what you're missing," Lulu added, spinning around, "Next time, just say y'don't wanna come cause you hate me."

Ashtray rolled his eyes, "Shut up, I would've if I trusted that bitch..."

The trio sighed, knowing it was probably for the best to have at least one of them staying home to take care of their grandmother and keeping an eye on Faye. But Lulu didn't forget the look of utter disappointment when Ashtray had turned down the offer of a free trip to Los Angeles.

"Yeah... I know," Lulu said, "We seeing you tonight anyways."

"If you don't win, Imma have to kick some ass," Ashtray warned.

Lulu chuckled and quietly smoked a cigarette, leaning over the balcony's fence as she tried to keep her cool. She was trying to push away the imposter syndrome that kept clouding her thoughts as she basked in the warm rays of the sun.

Never in her life would she have thought that a day like this would happen in her life. Even when she had started acting, it had never been a dream —and even less a goal, to win any type of award. Sometimes, she just remembered the very first time she had walked on a movie set and all the emotions she had gone through that very first day.

She was fourteen, and still very clueless about the world, and after the first couple of minutes where she thought she would throw up due to the anxiety, she just had fun. Hours would go by and she wouldn't be bored for one bit. Because between every take and every makeup stop or technical indications, she found herself mesmerized by every single aspect of movie making.

And that was when Lulu finally felt like maybe she had a purpose. And it wasn't really a purpose for the world, it was a purpose for her. Because this job had given her something to be joyful about in the morning. Not that she was depressed or that she dreaded waking up in the morning before that, but it made life exciting.

It made her feel like she was finally good at something and that people were aware of that talent. At age fourteen, she was treated like an adult and started seeing big names in the industry show her some respect as if she had been around for years.

Of course, she did have to deal with a bunch of perverted pedophiles —and now that she was eighteen, a bunch of perverted assholes, but she had made a name for herself out of the blue when she was still just a kid.

But here she was, nominated for a big award, and she wondered what the hell she was doing here. She hated being called left and right for interviews and photoshoots, she hated having to read the questions before an interview and preparing her answers like some kind of robot.

She only loved her job when she was actually on set. She had never wanted things to became so hectic. It didn't feel like her, it didn't look like her life. Deep down, she didn't give a damn about winning the award, it wouldn't change her life, it wouldn't erase the traumas, it wouldn't fix her personal issues, it wouldn't help her sleep better at night.

"Yeah, the other nominees are awesome, but Lulu really stole the spotlight on that one," Zahia replied, giggling at her screen.

Lulu looked over at Zahia and, in a way, this whole ceremony made sense. Because winning this award wouldn't change her life —that she was certain of, but it would probably have an impact on the people who loved her.

It would flick something in people's minds.

Zahia would understand that a great life would await —because if her older sister could achieve something like this after what they both had to go through, then it would give her the strength to do anything.

And that's what everyone truly fed off, people succeeding through adversity.

Lulu finished her cigarette and dropped a kiss on her sister's forehead, waving goodbye at Ashtray and pecking Fezco on the lips as she walked towards the bay window leading to her room, "I gotta run but I'll see you two in a couple of hours."

She was about to disappear inside when she popped her head out, "Oh and Ash... I'll make sure to include you in my speech when I win."

She swore she heard him hyping her up as she walked out of the room and into the hallway, checking her phone to see tons of messages from her friends.

All of them sweet and filled with pure love and happiness.

She walked into the elevator and smiled to herself, thinking that, maybe, she had a purpose for her world. The purpose to show people how great life could be no matter where they came from and no matter what they had to endure.

And, when her name was read out of that envelope in the evening —causing so many people to clap loudly and cheer for her, she understood that maybe she had won because people had sensed how she absolutely adored doing her job.

...   ...   ...

AUTHOR'S NOTE, a filleeeeeer i'm sorry!!! not much happening in this chapter but i gotta get going with this story and i was NOT planning on writing a long ass boring ceremony with lulu being scared or whatever, just picture her walking on that stage being all like "yeah my purpose's to make people realize that they can do whatever they want" blablabla and instead of doing a drop the mic she like drops the oscar, almost breaks it and makes the entire audience laugh their asses off.
yep, thats how i picture it ahahah

but hey i hope you liked that chapter anyways, sorry not my best written chapter....