Permanent Mark

Chapter 54

Notes: oh my sweet friends! Allow me to grovel and beg for forgiveness.

I've no idea what I'm doing, K?

I'm pretty new at this.

This is me then:

"Outlines? Who needs 'em?"

"Plans? Who needs 'em?"

This is me now:

"I solemnly swear never to write a fic without plotting it first ever again."

So yeah. I know what's going  to happen.  The what. Just not the how.

So, I'm sorry.

This is a small, feeble offering of a chapter. I'm sorry. However, if I still named chapters this one would be called

Oh, they done fucked with the wrong one now

         _____________________________

When she comes to, it happens slowly.

Cold….she feels cold. Anja Kloss is never cold. 

Her neck and hip hurts...it's metal. She's lying on a hard metal floor. The floors on Anja Kloss are not metal. The cave has soft bedding. She's not in their cave. 

Darkness...too dark. Even at night, the bright moons cast enough light to see.

The wonderful smell of the surrounding jungle...where is it? 

Lastly but most important, she can't feel Ben, she can't feel his heat, his skin. She can't smell his hair or hear his heartbeat. He's not nearby. His emotions through their bond, his constant roll of emotions for her. It's gone. 

He's gone. 

That last thought jolts her completely awake. She sits up quickly and then her head spins, forcing her back down. She grasps at her head, trying to slow the nausea. She feels pain as she's hit with a realization. Her wrists are bound together. She opens her eyes again and sees the cuffs. 

Her wrists are cuffed. Then she remembers. 

She had lost Ben's constant emotions flowing through her. He'd pushed her away, something he'd not done since they were reunited. Something was wrong. She had to find him. 

Ben….

Nothing. It was like trying to yell over a high wall. It made her afraid. 

Ben!! 

She could feel enough of him to know he was doing this on purpose. Was Han back? Were they fighting again? She had to find him!

She ran towards the forest, needing to see him, to see his eyes. Needing to touch him, to feel his strong, thick arms around her.

In her fear, she had not sensed the oncoming approach of a man.

He's not her Ben…she doesn't know this man. 

The pain was sudden, hitting her thigh, sharp and piercing. Everything was suddenly gone. The constant thrum of the lives around her. The emotions of those close to her heart. She could no longer feel Leia's warmth. Han's strength was no longer coursing through her. Chewie's peace that anchored her, gone. Finn's kindness, Poe's laughter, Rose's admiration….all of them. They were not there inside of her. 

Ben. Her precious, darling Ben and his constant overwhelming emotions for her. 

Gone.