Permanent Mark

Chapter Six

Rey wakes in the middle of the night, looking at the floor. He's not there.

She tiptoes to her door, opening it and walking to Ben's room, searching for him. 

The whispered argument stops her. It's coming from Han and Leia's room.

"I can't do this anymore Leia, I can't go to work not knowing if you three are okay." Han whispers. 

"Don't call it work Han. It's not work, it's smuggling." Leia chides. 

"And it's what I was doing when you met me, I never told you I'd stop!" Han says, a bit louder. 

"Don't wake her up!" 

"We have to think about her, Leia. It's not just us now. She will eventually suffer too."

"Suffer how? He won't hurt her, you know that!" Leia is now the one getting louder. 

"But what happens when he hurts someone and she finds out?? What then? She will have to start school soon. You said yourself she's ready. What happens when someone bullies her about his tantrums??" Han asks. 

"I'll talk to him about that. He'll do anything for Rey, you know that. Maybe that will calm him down."

"He needs to go. He's a grown man now, Leia. He needs to find his place out there, somewhere."

"Doing what? He won't pilot, he won't learn a skill. Even if he had become a Jedi, what would he do?" Leia says, panic in her voice. "He's still my baby. I can't just throw him out, Han!"

"Well that's the problem right there."

"What is? That he's my baby? No matter how big or old he gets, that doesn't change. You don't understand." Leia says, a deep sadness in her voice. 

"Maybe Luke can help him, Leia…."

Rey walks away, not wanting to hear anymore about Ben leaving. She walks into Ben's room. He's not there, either. She wanders into the living quarters, searching for him. She eventually finds him, out on the balcony. He's sitting on the edge, long legs dangling, his arms wrapped around the bottom railing. His head is leaned against the top railing. 

"Ben?" Rey asks his name like a question, confused and afraid. 

"Hey squirt. You should be asleep. It's late," he says, his voice filled with exhaustion. 

She simply sits next to him, wrapping her small arms around his thickly muscled one. He is her anchor in the storm. The storm she doesn't understand. 

They sit for a while, quietly taking in the view. 

"Kid, I'm not this great person you think I am. One day you may realize that." 

She looks up at his profile. He looks older, afraid. Afraid to disappoint her. But more afraid to hurt her with falsehoods of what lies beneath the surface she sees. 

He knows she sees his soul. The outlying of it, anyways. He hides the deeper depths from her. She's too pure, too sweet to see it. The voice, the anger, the rage. He covers that. 

"Ben, you are a great person. I see you. I know you think I'm just a kid but I've seen too much. I've seen evil and you're not evil. You're not a monster. You're my Ben."

He cocks one eye down at her, smiling just a bit. 

"When did you get so grown up sounding? You've only been living here 3 months. It's like you've been here for years."