Permanent Mark

Chapter 39

Rey doesn't know what to do. Should she chase after Ben? Reassure him it's okay? That she's not upset, not  by his reaction to her?

What if he tells her he doesn't want her in that way? What if he tells her something she doesn't want to hear?

Fear strikes her. He never said her name in his sleep. What if he tells her he was dreaming of someone else?

So she does nothing. 

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Ben is convinced he can never look Rey in the face again. 

His ears burn at the thought of what he'd done. His dick had hardened against her ass and he was basically just rutting away on her, like he was some animal. 

Even if he thought he could ever be with her, that is not how he'd want to start things off. Rey deserved better. 

Too bad things had gone south (literally) like that because waking up next to her was amazing. He'd never slept so soundly. No nightmares. No Snoke. Just blissful sleep. She had felt so good, so soft in his arms. It had felt right to be able to hold her, keep her safe. She'd fit just perfect against him. Her scent relaxed him. He'd woken up during the night and her even, deep breathing had lulled him right back to sleep. 

But no, his hormones just had to ruin everything and now, he didn't know what to say to her. 

What if she said something? Something like "How could you?" or "What's wrong with you?". 

He couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle seeing her look at him with disappointment. 

He does not know what to do. 

So he does nothing. 

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Seeing Luke again probably isn't the best idea. He might just kill him. 

Then again, killing Luke might just be the best way to get past the rolling emotions in his head right now. 

"Ben," his uncle says, nodding his head in greeting. The old man is once again sitting in his mother's office. 

Seems he doesn't have much choice if he sees his uncle or not.

His mother looks up at the mention of her son's name, eyes going wide for all sorts of reasons. 

"Rey?" his mother asks, the remaining part of the question not needing to be asked. 

"She's okay," he assures her, even though he doesn't particularly care to, "she just needed to rest."

"I came by to check during the night but I sensed you were still there so I didn't knock."

They stare at each other in silence. He senses no alarm or disapproval from her. 

His eyes shoot to Luke and the old man has enough sense not to ask the question Ben knows he's pondering. 

It's none of their business that Ben slept in her bed. They are both adults. Ben is in no mood to justify himself. 

It was just him comforting his best friend. Not that it was their business. 

He was just glad his Dad wasn't here to ask questions. That he could not deal with. 

"Son?" 

Ben's eyes flick back to his mom. He'd been staring at Luke without realizing it. Luke looked ready to crawl away. 

Go ahead, old man. Crawl. 

Right now, he's not angry at Luke for himself. Ben had made his choices. Right now, he's thinking of how upset Rey was last night, how she was so overcome by what Luke had done that she had literally crumbled.