Permanent Mark

Chapter 53

Notes: I am so nervous about this chapter. Please listen to the song and watch the amazing video above. Swipe to find it.

   ___________________________________

Rey needs his mother so he leaves them alone in her office until Maz arrives.

Ben paces in her room, trying to come to terms with all of this.

Then, without warning, a sensation like a vacuum hits his chest. The constant feeling of Rey is gone, like someone pulled a plug.

She's not there. She's not connected to him. The bond is gone.

He stumbles then collapses to his knees, his head spinning. He feels the overwhelming urge to vomit.

It's like someone removed his heart.

"Rey…." he whispers into the nothingness.

He scrambles to his feet, his body in actual pain from the void left where she should be.

Rey! Where are you? Please, sweetheart, tell me where you are! I can't feel you!

He bursts from the room just as the siren blares. Intruder. There's an intruder.

Leia is in the distance and he is running, running to her.

His mother turns and her eyes say it all. Something is horribly wrong with Rey.

He sees her mouth his name soundlessly. He roars the question at her.

"WHERE IS SHE????"

She can only manage three words.

"First Order ship….."

Poe runs up, a saber in his hand. Ben's saber. He tosses it to Ben. Ben activates it immediately, looking at Poe's face.

"They took her, Ben. She's gone…."

He spins to his mother.

"SHE WAS WITH YOU!!"

"She said she was going to find you!! I thought she was in her quarters!"

He'd blocked her out of their connection after he'd left her with Leia. He didn't want her to feel his turmoil. She didn't know where he was and he'd ignored her when she'd pushed into their bond. He just needed to process his hurt without her feeling his pain. She may have gone into the forest again.

This was his fault for ignoring her. She'd wandered out alone, probably too upset herself to feel the incoming danger.

It's his fault….the love of his life is in danger and maybe even hurt or worse and it's his fault.

The sound that comes from Ben is pure gutteral. Her name pours from him like water from a busted vase. It's a heart wrenching sound.

REY!! WHERE ARE YOU…..

Ben wants to destroy. He wants to slash and scream and rip everything around him to shreds. He looks around wildly, panicking. His mother is in shock, not able to be of much help to him. Her mere presence keeps Ben from lashing out in violence. He can't scare his mother.

He deactivates his saber and falls again to his knees. He feels hopeless. Rey has been a constant tether to him for several weeks now. Actually, for over ten years but he didn't realize it. Losing that connection is more than he can bear. He begins to panic, unable to breathe. His head touches his knees, his hands pulling at his hair.

Rose and Finn arrive, both aware of what's happened. They are shaking. Poe looks at them and then at Ben. He kneels down, afraid to touch the former Kylo Ren but needing to do something.