Forbidden Essence

Forbidden Essence : Conniving

Forbidden Essence

Chapter 20 : Conniving 

My hands fisted against my eyes as I sobbed pathetically, it seemed to be happening so fast. Johnathan quickly kneeled, looking around frantically, shushing me. 

"Come on Arabella, do not cry so. Let us go into your room." When I made no move to follow his words, he grabbed my arms, pulling me up with the invitation in his other hand, and quickly closed the door behind us. I sat on my bed watching him through blurry eyes as he neared me with a frown marring his face. 

I looked away, feeling so wretchedly humiliated in having my brother see me in this manner. "Arabella, what has happened to you?" he asked, angrily. I did not glance at him as I wiped my tears. "You were such a strong being, I had never once seen you shed a tear, and now that is all I am seeing you do."

He stepped closer, and grabbed my arms, forcing me to look up at him. "What has he done to you?" he shook in anger. I pulled back, muttering,

"He showed me my place, Johnathan, and it is good he has. No man wants as wife as I was."

John stood staring at me in bewilderment for a moment before he angrily pulled me up to stand and face him, "Have you gone mad, woman! A month in his presence and you have begun to speak gibberish!" He gazed into my eyes intensely, "You are daughter of King Jerediah, Arabella, daughter of Queen Isabelle, and a brother among brothers. We have raised you a warrior, never once have we considered you lesser than us and now we see you blubbering like a weakling? We have not raised you so!"

I was taken back by the ferocity of his words, my wide eyes staring up at him, my lips closely shut as to not tremble in another bout of sobs. His voice rose, and he grew angrier as he noticed it.

"Get your self together, man, you have become sorry state that I am ashamed to even witness. When I return, I must see you as I would see a man in war, do you hear me?" He shouted, and I flinched back, but he had his hands tight around my arms. I did not reply, and I hoped dearly he had not noticed me flinch. He said no more, he turned swiftly, his left hand now held the crushed remains of the invitation. He slammed the door, and I flinched again, pinching my eyes closed.

John's words replayed in my head over and over again till I felt faint. I lowered my eyes, he was right, I had become a blubbering fool and I grew tired of my own tears. If I ever behaved like I did in the Reddings homes, oh dear God, I will die of humiliation. As I had come to the conclusion to bottle my emotions, a small knock made me glance up as a maid walked in. She bowed, and straightened playing with her hands nervously.

I watched as she stood there, unsure, "Sir Johnathan has sent me to have you prepared for the arrival of your bethroted."

My breath got clogged in my throat and I began coughing vehemently. The servant ran towards me, shocked and suddenly horrified, "My lady!" she began thumping my back until my coughing seized. 

I took deep breaths and grabbed the maid by her shoulders. She was a small, and young girl; her eyes widened and I felt a tinge of guilty to be treating her so roughly, "The arrival of my bethroted? He is coming today?" When the young girl hesitated, I shook her, "Speak, for heaven's sake!"

"Arabella, leave Mary this instant." I glanced at the door as mother walked in looking pitiful towards the maid, Mary. I let her go and watched as mother Anne dismissed her and walked towards me. She led me towards a chair near my vanity and sat me down. 

I watched her fitfully as she took her time in grabbing a comb and upbraiding my hair. "Mother-"

"Shh, let me take my time, dear child. I fear it may be a while before I have the privilege again." I watched her through the mirror and saw that her eyes had begun shining with unshed tears. I remained silent for her sake, but my question remained answered. Why must he come so soon? I had not even had the time to look at my home for the last time! When mother combed my hair, she walked towards my cabinet and looked through my most fancy dresses that just had piled over the years, however never had the opportunity to wear them.