Cherishable | Yeonbin ✓

༉ 21 ∘

Chap 21 - " Missing him " 

Yeonjun knew that he was partly at fault. His feelings were a mess and hearing that short conversation between his husband and his husband's cousin had stirred the pot of confusion inside him even more.

What he didn't account for was how strongly Soobin had responded. He had never before shown Yeonjun any ounce of anger or frustration since the beginning of their marriage before, and what happened in Gwangju was the first. He didn't even know that the normally calm older man was capable of such an emotion.

The next day, on the drive back to Seoul, his husband had apologized for his behaviour the previous night and promised that he would do better to make sure that Yeonjun was comfortable.

He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

But the fool that he was, Yeonjun couldn't say a word of apology back for his own hurtful words. But, of course, being the kind husband he was, Soobin didn't ask for it.

In fact, he simply smiled (although the smile didn't reach his eyes) and continued on as if nothing happened.

Slowly, Yeonjun reached out to run his hand all over the wrinkled sheets of his husband's side of the bed. The sheets were cold, but they still smell like him. He grabbed the pillow and hugged it to his chest.

If Yeonjun was quite honest... he missed Soobin.

For along with waking up with the older not by ihs side, Yeonjun's husband had slowly stopped his affections. There were no more good morning or good night kisses. No more fleeting touches as they passed each other and no more random hugs or flirtatious words.

All that was left were Soobin's small, ind smiles whenever their eyes met, and even then, Soobin's eyes had lost their mischievous spark.

"I'm sorry," Yeonjun whispered to the pillow, a tear dropping down from the corner of his eye, wishing it was his husband who could hear his apology instead.

+×+

I have no one to blame but myself

I felt trapped in my life

In your arms that protected me

Like a small and thin child

Stand by me

The last notes of the keyboard rung out in the small garage and for a moment, there was only silence. Not even Wooyoung's heavy breathing disturbed the mood. The heavy melancholic feeling of the song was the only thing that was present.

Yeonjun couldn't sleep the night before while waiting for Soobin to come home, so he had written a song out of boredom. He decided to play it for the rest of his friends so they could figure out song arrangements and made adjustments and such.

It just made him feel worse, reminding him of his current predicament.

"So.. what do you guys think?" he finally managed to ask.

The other three were looking at him with sympathy, and it only made him feel even more miserable. After all, he did spend the entire week lamenting to them.

"You have got to talk to that husband of yours," said Yeosang, finally. "Just saying, cause I felt like I'm the one who just got dumped.. .and I don't even have a boyfriend!"

"I didn't get dumped!" Yeonjun defended. "We're just.. having a small dispute." He pursed his lips. "Besides, it's not like he can dump me. We're married."

"He can divorce you," San pointed out. Wooyoung elbowed him with a galare. The younger backtracked. "I... I mean... I'm sure he won't, Yeonjun."

Too late, Yeonjun was already thinking about it.

Divorce?

It meant not seeing Soobin's face every day, his smile, that annoying smirk when he was teasing him, that affectionate look in his tiny brown eyes when he thought Yeonjun wasn't looking, his touch, his hugs, his kisses... damnit!

His friends must have seen the distress on his face as they all gathered around him, patting his back in what they hoped was comforting.

"I messed up guys," he said in a low tone. "I don't know how I can make it up to him. He's important to me and I... I don't want to lose him..."

A life without Soobin.. it looked so bleak. He didn't like it, even a bit.

--------

hope you liked the update :) 

stay safe cheesecake and ilysm <33