circus ★ crygi

chapter twenty

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GIGI'S encounter with Crystal had gone just as she had expected it to — gloriously. She was utterly at ease with her relationship with the redhead. Gigi had found herself fascinated at the girl, and time seemed to fly by whenever the two were together.

They had become confidants in such a short time of knowing each other. They were inseparable, almost as if they couldn't coexist without each other; which had, more than once, made each of them wonder how had they even managed to do so for so long before knowing each other.

It all seemed perfect, right? It could've perfectly been, if it wasn't for one trivial minor detail — Gigi didn't have anyone to talk to about Crystal. Sure, she had Jan, who had become one of her closest friends in the past month; but Gigi was convinced that Jan was fed up of her talking about nothing other than Crystal (spoiler alert: she wasn't).

Plus, she didn't have any more friends, and her parents were clearly out of the question, so — who could Gigi talk to then? The blonde wracked her brain, trying to find an answer to the question. Until she took a quick glance to her right, more specifically, to her nightstand.

She raised her eyebrow at the thought that had just crossed her mind. Was it the right thing to do? There wasn't much she could do, other than that. Plus, most likely no one would find out about it. So, what was there to lose?

And with that, she decidedly leaned over to her nightstand, opened the first drawer, and pulled out a thick notebook. It was, considerably, childish, if you will — it had a fuzzy hot pink cover, and attached to it, the pen compartment, and the respective hot pink feather ballpoint pen.

Gigi hadn't seen the notebook in years, but she did recall it as her best friend for a couple of years. She had bought it at a fair stand on her very first circus gig; and it had become her secret keeper when no one else wanted to hear her talk.

Years later, Gigi became a bigger name around the circus, which helped her gain friends, but with that, also came enemies; but regardless of that, Gigi stopped writing down her thoughts and secrets, and started to share them with her friends. Still, she knew the notebook had somehow shaped her into the person she was today, and that was why she chose to keep it —hidden, but keep it.

But history was repeating itself, and Gigi had found herself returning to that infamous notebook after ages of disuse. And just like that, Gigi was already writing down a zillion words a minute. She hadn't realized how much she had to say about Crystal until that very moment.

Thursday, June 13, 2020

Dear diary,

Hey, it's me, Gigi, again. I know I haven't written in here in a hot minute, but that sort of relieves me, because I was truly at my lowest when I would frequently write here. And the fact that I've been able to sort out my life through the past 5 years really makes me proud of myself.

Now, don't fear for me — my mental health is great right now; but that's not the reason I'm writing an entry today, after years of not doing so. But because I'm crushing on a girl.

And not just any girl — she's not like anyone I've ever met before. She's pretty, funny, smart, flirty, friendly, and has a smile that takes over your body. She's driving me crazy... I met her at the circus a month ago, and I haven't been able to take her off of my mind ever since.

I've been dropping subtle flirty clues, but I don't think she's gay because she's not getting them. Or maybe she isn't into me...

Whatever, diary. Thank you for being there for me, once again, and for listening carefully to me begging for love.

Yours truly,

Gigi Goode