Turn Around

Chapter 9

Three months passes by in a flash. While most of my time was spent practicing and playing the rest was spent at bars and restaurants trying to get over Tobin. I was just about as lucky as the other countless times I've done the same thing. Something was always wrong with whoever I went out with. Whether it was a 'they think planning stuff is too much like an old woman' or 'her voice is too high it needs to be lower like Tobin's' is besides the point. Kelley had done everything in her power to try to get me the perfect date but it simply never happened.

Another thing I did was ignore Tobin. Ignored her texts, FaceTimes, and even her in person when our teams played. By the end of the three months it became evident that she was anxious to know what was causing the sudden lack of contact between us. It wasn't kind of me not to answer but it was necessary.

Even after all of that though here I am riding the team bus back to the hotel from the airport. Completely zoned out looking at the head of brown hair that sat in front of me with Lindsey who had been ditched by Emily for Kelley. Thankfully Becky was too engrossed in her book to notice how spaced out I was. Tobin hasn't even spared me a look since the Thorns joined the Royals at the airport.  Not that I can blame her I'd be furious with me too.

My phone buzzes and I can't help but hope it's Tobin even though she hasn't even looked at her phone once since boarding the bus. To my surprise it's actually Emily.

Stop staring Christen if Tobin wasn't weirded out by your behavior before now she totally is.

It's not like she can feel me staring. And what has she told you?

Just how you've been ignoring her and that she's really pissed about it. P.S. wouldn't be so sure about the not sensing it thing look up.

My eyes leave my phone screen and I see Tobin staring daggers at me. My eyes widen and I swallow trying to keep down my nerves. Her eyes linger on the movement of my throat for a moment before looking into mine again. We stay like that for a few seconds before she turns back around with no emotion shown whatsoever.

I've been friends with Tobin since the 2009 Pali Blues days and never once has she looked at me like that. 

Shit I really messed up didn't I?

Mhm and you might wanna check the room assignments Vlatko just emailed.

I refresh my email and the list is there just waiting for me to open it.

Ashlyn and Megan
Tierna and Abby
Rose and Becky
Emily and Kelley
Alex and Mal
Tobin and Christen
...

Shit shit shit Emily what do I do?

Oh I don't know... try talking to her about your feelings?

I elect to leave her on delivered because what else is there to say? There's no more interaction between me and anyone til we arrive at the hotel and I hug Ash and Ali in the lobby. After exchanging pleasantries I grab my room key and nervously start my journey to room 508.

Not long after I've unpacked the door opens and Tobin walks in with her phone in her hand and headphones on her head. A classic signal of 'I don't wanna talk to you right now'. I decide to heed the unspoken warning and continue getting ready for bed. It isn't until we are both settled into our beds that she breaks the silence, "Why?" "Why what?" She groans and sits up. "What did I do Chris? Maybe I over stepped with the whole Kelley thing, but something tells me that's not it. So why did you decide to just not speak to your best friend or maybe ex best friend at this point for three months?" That might've been the longest I've ever heard her talk at once.

"I just... it wasn't you it was me. Please believe when I say you did nothing wrong and this whole thing is completely my fault. Like totally a hundred percent my fault. I'm so sorry and I know I didn't handle anything correctly and I should've just acted normal but for some reason I just couldn't. And you're still my best friend and I get it if you don't want me as yours anymore." At least I'm being honest here. I don't really wanna lie unless I have to.

"That didn't answer all my questions. If I'm still your best friend tell me what's wrong please." The please on the end gives away how much what I did hurt her. Her eyes are on me and they're filled with so much emotion unlike earlier when there was nothing. "It was just I knew that you found out about Kelley and Em starting to date and it was so embarrassing. Like I didn't want you to have to mention it and me just awkwardly brush it off. So I just avoided it and you." The lie comes smoothly off my tongue which is perhaps a sign I'm a little too comfortable lying to her.

"Seriously Chris? I would've just dropped it you know that. Is that really all or is there something else?" I hesitate before answering no. She seems to pick up on my hesitation but decides not to act on it. "Alright then come over here I missed you." Cuddling was nothing new in our friendship so I take it as a good sign.

I slip into her bed and allow her to wrap her arm around my torso and pull me close. "Promise no more weird shutting me out?" I hold up my pinky waiting for her to take it. She wraps hers around it and I whisper, "Promise."

After a few minutes her breathing relaxes and her muscles relax around me. "I love you Tobs more than you'll ever know." and readjusts a little and whispers, "Love you too."

Definitely thought she was asleep. At least she's way too tired to think anything of it. A few more moments pass before I drift into the best sleep I've had for months.