Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season Two

Chapter 2 Motion to Adjourn

The Blues and DuFresne took cover behind a few rocks! The Reds let out a barrage of bullets, preventing them from moving at all!

Church: Okay, Tucker, I need you to get up there. Help, Caboose shore up the defense, establish a suppressing fire, and hold that position until further notice.

Tucker: I didn't even know what half of that meant.

Church: Just go over to Caboose's rock and fire your gun a bunch.

The cyan soldier turned to see how tiny Caboose's rock was.

Tucker: That rock? Yeah, I don't think so.

Church: We do not have time to discuss this!

Tucker: Sure, no time for you to discuss it. You get to hang out here with Nancy No-Bullets shootin' the breeze! Meanwhile, I'm out there, running around, eating a machine gun sandwich.

Church: Tucker, we're gonna give you covering fire.

Tucker: Covering fire? Unless that means you're gonna build a huge, bullet-proof wall between me and them, I think you need to come up with a new plan! Preferably one that involves me keeping at the same amount of blood that I have right now.

Church: No problem. Hey, wait, wait. Does the blood have to be in your body?

As they argued, the Reds continued to fire.

Grif: Simmons, I can't feel my hands!

He and the maroon soldier were firing Assault Rifles.

Simmons: Maybe you should lay off the trigger, dumbass.

Meanwhile, Ruby emptied an entire magazine from her SMG without any recoil.

Grif: Show off.

The Blues didn't get anywhere with there argument.

Church: Alright, you, Doc, get over there and help Caboose.

DuFresne: My name isn't Doc, it's DuFresne.

Church: Yeah, I can't pronounce that, so from now on, you're name is Doc.

Doc: I'm not really comfortable with that. I'm not a doctor, I'm a medic.

Tucker: What's the difference?

Doc: Well, a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable while they die.

Tucker: Mental note, don't ever get shot.

Church: It's settled then, your name is now Doc.

Doc: Alright, but I don't think it'll stick.

Unfortunately for him, it stuck and never unstuck.

Tucker: Oh trust us, it'll stick.

Church: Now get over to Caboose and help him hold that position.

Doc: I don't have a gun. I'm a pacifist.

Church: Well, then get over there and yell, "Bang, bang, bang."

Doc: Eh, I don't know. Even that sounds pretty aggressive.

Tucker: Oh, come on.

Doc: Plus, I'm not supposed to get involved unless someone gets hurt.

Church: Huh, I see.

The Blue Team leader raised his magnum and fired.

Caboose: Ow! My foot!

Church: Well, looks like Caboose has hurt himself. Maybe you should get over there and help him, Doc.

Doc: You know, you could've just asked nicely.

Luckily for them, the Reds were beginning to run out of ammo.

Simmons: Crap, I'm out. Give me some ammunition Grif.

Grif: Me? I don't have any extra. I'm down to one bullet.

Ruby: Aren't you in charge of carrying all the ammo?

The girl was also running low.

Grif: Wait, since when?

Simmons: Since the last staff meeting.

Grif: We actually talk about stuff in those things? I just fall asleep in my helmet.

Ruby: Grif, I'm gonna beat the laziness out of you.

Grif: Sorry ma'am!

Simmons: Well, we're out of ammo thanks to you.

Grif: What's your guys' jobs?

Simmons: Me, I'm the social chairman.

Ruby: I consider keeping you all alive as my job. Aw Crap. I'm out of ammo!

Sarge then approached.

Sarge: Grif, me and Treasurer Donut are empty. We need some clips.

Simmons: Hey Grif, you remember that one bullet you have left? I thought of the perfect way you can use it.

As their fire ceased, Doc made it over to Caboose.

Doc: I'm here Caboose. Where are you hit?

Caboose: Ow! Ow! Ow! My foot! My foot!

The blue frantically jumped up and down, not lessening the pain.

Doc: The left foot?

Caboose: Ah, left? Let's see, that makes an L with this thumb. . . .

Doc: I'm just gonna assume it's the bleeding one.

Caboose: Yeah, the red one. I can't believe Church shot me!

Church: Oh don't even start Caboose!

Doc: Anything else?

Caboose: Uh-Wait what?

Doc: You have a bullet wound in the foot, is anything else wrong?

Caboose: Uh, Oh, I got one. Well, sometimes when I fall asleep at night, I think about my parents having sex and getting really really mad for some reason.

DuFresne gave him a blank stare.

Doc: Okay, I'm just gonna check out the foot.

Caboose: Okay.

The Blues then finally realized that Reds weren't firing.

Tucker: Hey dude, why aren't the Reds firing?

Church: I don't know, maybe they're out of ammo.

The Reds then began to speak to them.

Sarge: Hey Blues! We are giving you a chance to surrender!

Church: Surrender?

He popped out of his cover, ready for whatever ordeal was about to come next. . . .