Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season Two

Chapter 8 Nine Tenths of the Law

Donut: Just you and me hanging out at the base, huh Sarge?

The pink and red armored soldiers stood atop the Red Base.

Donut: This is new. I noticed you used a shotgun. That's cool. I just this pistol. It works for me.

Noticing that the sergeant would not answer him, Donut began awkwardly whistling. Before the poor guy would continue to be ignored by Sarge, Ruby walked onto the roof.

Ruby: Hey guys.

Donut: Oh Ruby! I'm glad your here, Sarge would not stop talking, seriously.

Ruby: I heard you from inside Donut.

Donut: Dang it.

Ruby: Anyways, did Grif and Simmons get rid of the medic? I just finished cleaning my armor. I wanted to put a bullet in his crotch so he can't pee anymore.

Donut: Yeah, they should be back anytime now.

He chose to ignore Ruby's threat towards Doc.

Simmons: Hey were back!

The maroon soldier then joined them on the roof alongside Grif.

Sarge: Grif, Simmons, were you able to work out a suitable exchange?

Simmons: Uh, not exactly sir. You see, when we showed up, the Blues were doing something REALLY weird and then w-

Grif: Really weird! And they were rude!

Ruby: To be fair, we are kinda at war with them.

Simmons: Hey dumbass! I thought we agreed I was gonna tell the story!

Grif: Excuse me! Go ahead.

Simmons: Well, you see the Blue guys were really weird. And not just normal weird, re-

Ruby/Sarge: Get to the point.

Simmons: Alright. They didn't want the prisoner back.

Sarge: Why those cunning blue devils! Does their treachery know no bounds?!

Grif: It wasn't a total loss sir, I was able to steal his wallet.

Sarge: Grif, I may just make a respectable soldier out of you yet.

Grif: Really sir?

Sarge: Hell no! Now leave the money on my nightstand when I get to work!

Ruby: What are you gonna use money for? There is literally nothing here other than our base and Blue Base.

Grif: Good question. What are you gonna using it for Mr. Krabs?

Sarge: I just wanna have it.

Donut/Grif/Ruby/Simmons: Mr. Krabs.

*With the Blues*

Church: Alright, Tucker what the hell are we gonna do man? I gotta get my legs working here.

Tucker: I don't know, but I can't just keep pulling wires down there. I think we should call in a professional. Maybe someone who could fix Sheila, too.

Church: Okay, great idea. Only people who can do that are Señor El Roboto and Tex.

Caboose: Hmm, Tex can be kinda hard to work with.

Tucker: Yeah, dead people usually are.

Church: Quite frankly Tucker, I find your attitude offensive.

Caboose: What about that Lopez person? Is he available?

Church: No, I'm in his body remember?

Caboose: Well, why don't you just leave his body? And then Tucker and I will make him fix you and my girlfriend.