Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season Two

Chapter 14 An Audience of Dumb

Sheila: Please take evasive action.

Tucker: You take evasive action!

He and Sheila were making a beeline for the Red Base!

Tucker: Hey Lopez, help me out, can't you talk to her?

Lopez: (Spanish) Sorry, I'm not good at talking to beautiful women. I get sweaty.

Dead ahead was the Warthog, and Ruby, Grif, Donut were taking cover right behind it!

Donut: Well old buddies, it looks like this is the end for us.

Ruby: Don't say that! I'll draw it away, you guys make a run for the base.

Donut: Alright, let's make a break for it!

Grif: In that case, let's go on three. That worked for me in the past.

Donut: Okay, you count.

Grif: Fine, but don't look at me when I count, I g-

Ruby: Just count!

They all faced separate directions.

Grif: Alright, alright! One. . .

Donut immediately took off.

Grif: Two. . .

Grif and Ruby turned to see Donut sprinting away.

Grif: That son of a bitch! He beat me at my own game.

Ruby: GRIF!!!!!!!!!

The girl jumped and tackled Grif just as the tank crashed into the warthog! The two were able to narrowly evade the hulking machine! It had crashed into the side of the base and ran over Lopez!

Ruby: INSIDE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Grif: GOING!!!!!!!!!!

The two rushed inside!

Sarge: Good golly Miss Molly, what is going on out there?!

Ruby: THE FREAKING TANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Donut: Th-They blew up the Warthog, again!

Simmons: I wonder what the jeep ever did to those guys.

Grif: Th-Thanks for the save Ruby.

The orange soldier had just come out of his shock.

Ruby: D-Don't worry about it.

Donut: We barely had enough time to make it out of there.

Grif: You abandoned us!

*In Caboose's Mindscape*

Church: Why the hell did they pair me up with you?

Church(Caboose): I want to keep my eye on you! I don't trust gigantic turds to try and steal my friend you rim job!

Church: Well, this is gonna be a great trip.

The fake Church walked to the ledge.

Church(Caboose): Attention Reds! The great Caboose demands an audience with you! So listen up you blowjobbing cocksuckers!

Simmons then appeared next to a pillar.

Simmons(Caboose): Caboose?! Oh no, he's come kill us!

Suddenly Grif appeared, but his armor was yellow!

Grif(Caboose): Will somebody please help me? I don't wanna die!

Donut appeared next, but he was a girl!