(Before I begin I would like to mention that this story is based of a tiktok made by g3miini)
Kirishima
Getting up for school was a part of his day that he wished he could skip. But then again, if he could just skip ever waking up in general that'd be nice too. He saw no point in even going anymore, it's not like anyone was going to force him. However, there was only a few weeks left and then summer comes around the corner. Not that he planned too much for it anyways.
Just like most days, his thoughts race in to fill his mind. They weren't good ones either. If anything, they were slanderous.
At first they were nothing more than an afterthought, easily pushed aside and forgotten till he was alone in bed. But everyday the thoughts got louder. Eventually he couldn't take the constant degrading comments made by that one part of his head he wish he didn't have. It would tease him and remind him that he really is a useless bastard. Your quirk isn't strong enough, how can you become a pro hero when you can't even save yourself? Why even strive for such an unrealistic dream? Just because Crimson Riot says things that you wish made you a man, doesn't mean you are one.
It was like this, all day and everyday.
Slipping on his black and white school uniform, he goes to brush his teeth. His mirror is covered in tape to avoid having to see himself, it helps just a little if he pretends he doesn't know what he looks like. He looks for his toothpaste and realizes he ran out so he goes to his mothers bathroom to borrow hers. That was a mistake.
As he walks in and gets a glimpse of himself in his mother's mirror. He can't help but stop to stare at his reflection. His black locks frame his face and he frowns. It looked terrible to him. Like a sea of darkness that he was cursed to wear every day. He knew black hair was a common hair color but that didn't make him feel any less insecure. Why? Because he didn't want a common hair color, he wanted to stand out like a real man. So when he stared at his shoulder length dark locks more, the voice came to assure him that it's not a good look. How boring. Nobody will notice you when, no, IF you become a hero with this kind of hair. You look like just another face in the crowd, a background character and it wouldn't make a difference if you were there or not.
He quickly grabs the toothpaste and returns to his bathroom before the thoughts can continue. He puts on his shoes, skipping breakfast because he doesn't want to waste time and risk being late. He locks the door and heads out. His mom is never home because she travels for work, and his dad? Well he doesn't know much about him because he's never met him. He doesn't mind though, he knew he had to be the man of the house at a young age. Perhaps that's the reason why it was so important to him to become manly.
As he arrives at school he walks to class and plops down at his assigned seat. The bell rings and class begins, nothing special. He zones out for half the time, even though he knows his grades could use some improvement. Still, he just couldn't bring himself to care much.
Most his experiences in this school have been shit, and each day he sits in his desk is another piece of his will to continue being picked away. There's a slight buzz of chatter from some of his classmates as the teacher lectures the class. He remembers when he was apart of that buzz. When he'd chat with his best friend Tomo and they'd giggle like little kids about the dumbest things. But Tomo had moved a few months into their middle school years and since then it's just been him. Then some douchbags came along and would tease him. Now he's the friendless quiet kid that no one pays any mind to.
All of a sudden, an intense wave of emotions swarm him at once. It's like his thoughts are speeding and he can't keep up. Fuck. He knows what's going on, and he needs to get out of class. Maybe it was caused by the reminiscing of his recent years, or simply by his mind deciding to make things worse. When this happens it always ends in him having a panic attack. He can't afford to have one in the middle of class so he excuses himself and asks to go to the bathroom. As soon as he's granted permission, he bolts out without a second thought. He ignores the confusion of a few of his classmates' faces as he goes.
He locks himself in a stall and gives himself a minute to think. Well, he tries to at least. All his thoughts are mushed up and he not sure if he's completely conscious right now. If his head is going to be spinning like this all day then he's not sure he'll be able to get through the rest of school today. He figures it's best to just ditch class, it's not like anyone would notice it anyways. Exiting the stall, he stealthily makes it out one of the side doors by the gym. The moment he steps out, he books it down the road.
He's not entirely sure on where he's going, trusting that his legs will take him anywhere but back to school. The whole way he can hear his derogatory notions screaming at him. His head hurts and he wants nothing more than for it to stop. Distantly he is aware of the tears streaming down his face, choosing to ignore them in favor of running. He ultimately finds himself at a building by the corner of the road, coming to the conclusion that ending his life is the only true way to end the hurt. It's so sudden, and deep down he knows that he's not thinking rationally, but what other choice does he have at this point? It's a constant cycle of emotional damage and he doesn't know any other way to cope anymore.
Climbing up the ladder at the rear end of the 6 story building, Kirishima wonders if he's making the right choice. Of course your are, it's not like you don't know already that nobody will stop you anyways. Maybe just this once, he'll give in and listen to his mind. Maybe ignoring what the thoughts ordered him all these years was the issue. It had to be, right? Why else wouldn't they go away? When he reached the top he puts his bag to the side. He walks closer to the perimeter of the roof and slowly takes a seat. As he sits at the edge, he considers going back home and taking a nap to clear his mind instead. But obviously the voices had other plans.
Don't tell me your wimping out now? Geez you really don't have the balls to do shit huh? Instead of wasting time wondering if anyone gives a fuck, you should just jump and get it over with.
So, that's what he does. He walks to the edge, not even bothering to look down because he doesn't wanna risk changing his mind last minute, and stands while closing his eyes.
Taking a deep breath, he spins around with his back facing the way he plans to fall. He won't be a coward this time, he'll finally go through with something. This is it. I'm finally putting an end to my personal hell.
The first few chapters may be a bit short, but the chapters are 2000-3000 words long for the most part.
YOU ARE READING
Falling - kiribaku
Fanfiction(In Editing) Kirishima, a black haired boy who feels he has no real purpose because his self doubt gets the better of him constantly. One day he decides he's had enough, he can't take it anymore. His insecurities keep him up at night and he finds it...
