The Moment

Chapter Forty-Three

He had moved from the fridge to the counter and was now sitting beside me as we sat in silence. I honestly don't know what made me say it. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the fact that I was leaving at the end of the week or maybe it was the fact that it was true.

Ryland was someone I never thought I would connect with on a romantic level...and honestly, a platonic one as well. Sure, we'd have conversations here and there when everyone else was around but when I met him, to think of being alone with him in a room and being genuinely happy and comfortable, that seemed like something so impossible but it wasn't. Even now, sitting here with him in complete silence, I feel so at peace with everything and I can't believe I ruined that feeling by fearing what others would think and say about our relationship.

"That's all I ever wanted." His words were quiet; mainly because of the music but I think he was holding back the shakiness of them. Pushing himself back further on the counter, he turned to face me, crossing his legs, as he continued, "When I met you, I saw something in you that I only wished I could see in everyone else; myself included. The way you viewed life was something I've never seen before. You cherished it, you experienced every single moment for what it was; good or bad and you feel everything so deeply, I just wanted to make sure the only thing you felt was happiness. That day that I saw you dancing on the edge of the pool with Kouvr to the fucking Backstreet Boys before slipping and taking Kouvr down with you, I knew I should have told you...what you meant to me and how much I wanted to be more than just a guy you occasionally said hi to."

I didn't know whether or not I should speak; I had never gotten this much out of Ryland before and I feel like he really needed to let all of this go; whether or not it was killing me to hear it.

"Basically, I just um..." He continued, as I mimicked his sitting position. "I get why you feel like you need to go and I'm not going to be the asshole who tells you to stay but um...I don't want you to feel like all of us aren't on your side or that we can't help you with this because we are and we can. I think you're better than him but you can't help who you love."

The silence returned as I thought about it; maybe it hurt so bad because the one person I pushed aside my biggest fear for turned out to be an asshole and the one person I refused to do it for turned out to be the only one who deserved it.

"I can't stay, Ryland."

"And that's fine, really it is, but I couldn't go another however many months without telling you what I've been meaning to say for ages now. You made me feel, Cross and I'll never forget that."

"What the hell are you two doing in here!?" Josh asked as he ran towards the fridge. "We're about to play Thunderstruck!" Grabbing two drinks, he left the kitchen, just as fast as he came in.

"Wouldn't want to miss that." Ryland said, letting out a small smile as he pushed himself off the counter and extended his hand towards me. Taking hold of it, I pushed myself off the counter with my other hand but a small part of me couldn't let go of him. My eyes locked onto his as he placed his free hand on the counter beside me and there it was.

Was I really having the moment with Ryland? Was it real? Or was it just because of all the things he said? I didn't think I'd ever be in a position where starting things back up with Ryland would ever be an option. But here I was with Ryland slowly and quite frankly...unsurely, leaning towards me...

A/N: Uh Oh!!! Will Regan and Ryland start things back up again? Or will something ruin the moment? Do you guys ship Regan and Ryland? What's their ship name? Let me know!