Dear Ocean Sky

Chapter 1 | Alex

12/17/16
Dear Ocean,
You know those times,
When you're underwater,
All you can see,
Is the blue stretching out around you?

It's peaceful.
And everyone's words are hazy.
Everyone is hazy.
Everything is hazy.

Those are the times I never want to come up for air.
Sometimes I tell myself I won't.
I'll just stay under there.
Never wanting to see the sun again.

But through all the peace and quiet,
My thoughts cut through like an arrow blade.
They cut right through the veil of calm,
And tell me to surface again.

And though I may miss the water,
That clings to me in a hug,
I do not miss the tears that are-
The things that brought me here first.

And now I can see the bright sun above,
I can play with all the people.
It makes me shake with fear to think that-
One of them might drown.

But I'm above the surface now.
I just keep walking forward every day...

So-

Hello Ocean
It's your friend
Writing to you from afar
You let me refuge when I'm at my worst
Let me cry into your waters so my tears blend with those that have come before them
I'm your mermaid-girl
What you have made me
But I'm also what I have made me.
I am what they have made me-
My friends, my family.
What if I never broke the surface?
But I'm going to break the surface.
The bright rays won't be too much
I know I'll get burned.
I know I know,
But I have to stand the hurt.
Down here it's quiet
And I never have to speak
I never have to worry
If I don't get too close
I can see the light up above
But I want to see it face to face.
Not through a veil.

~

Alex ran up to Kata, putting her hands over her eyes. Kata laughed. "Alex, I know that's you."

Kata removed Alex's hands from her eyes and turned to face her- and oh god she was so close. Alex quickly looked down and stepped away from Kata who was still holding her hands.

Alex really liked their hands connected.

Kata dragged Alex over to sit on the stage as they waited for the school day to begin. Alex scooted closer to Kata, telling herself she was just trying to keep warm. The two sat in silence for a while until Alex finally spoke.

"So are you excited for winter break?" she asked. Kata sighed.

"Not really," Kata spoke sadly. "I mean no school is great, but I'm also going to have to spend two weeks away from you."

She's going to miss me?? Alex thought with excitement.

"Plus I won't have any escape from my mother. So that's gonna really suck." Alex frowned. Kata didn't deserve to have the awful home life that she did. She deserved to have the best home life. She deserved to be happy. Alex bit her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry Kata that really sucks," she finally said, voice quiet regretting the fact that she hadn't considered what Kata would be going through over break. Kata shrugged.

"Don't say sorry, you didn't do anything," she said. "Plus everyone's automatic response to 'I'm sorry' is 'it's okay' you know? But it's not okay. It's fucking shitty." Alex felt guilt crawling its way up her throat as she looked at her friend thoughtfully. Alex reached out and wrapped Kata in a big hug, unsure of what else to do. Kata smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Alex," she said softly, holding onto her friend. Alex was about to continue their conversation when she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Carson.