Dear Ocean Sky

Chapter 6 | Kata

10/1/16
Dear Sky,
It's the day of auditions. Finally. Not that I really care about the auditions in general, I just can't wait for the show to start. I love theatre. I need theatre. I know I can get annoyed easily by some people in theatre but truth be told, I wouldn't rather be doing anything else. As much as they annoy me, I love all the people in theatre. I love the community. It's the only place where I can actually be myself without being judged.

Tech interviews are two days from now. I've been preparing everything I can think of to prepare so I can be sure that I'm ready. I prepare once Mother's asleep obviously. It's a wonder I even get to do theatre this year. Mother says it's useless and not going to get me anywhere in life, but it's one of the only things I actually enjoy anymore. Theatre is the one thing that keeps me going. When rehearsals are going on, the only way I can get through the day is by telling myself that if I can just make it to the end of the day I get to go to rehearsals. I get to go do my favorite thing in the world. I also get to spend less time at my house, that's always a plus.

I really want to be the stage manager. I've been working my butt off since I got started doing theatre, doing everything asked of me. Paying attention to how everything works, every lecture, every teaching. I know my way around a production like the back of my hand, it's like second nature now. I want a chance to prove I can do this. I want a chance to prove I have what it takes to be a leader. This is the position I've been working toward since my sixth-grade year. Maybe if Mother sees what I can do in the theatre she'll be proud of me. Maybe she'll even let me continue in it?

Ah, whatever. That's not going to actually happen so I probably shouldn't get my hopes up.

Do you know what's annoying? Mother complains that we can't have "valuable family time" when I have a show going on. When have we ever had valuable family time? We never do shit as a family! I'm normally in my room working on some assignment that Mother said I HAD to do. Most of the time it's not even for school! I spend more time doing assignments that my mother gives me than doing assignments my teachers give me. I think there's something wrong with that. And besides, even when we do actually do something as a family, it usually results in me and Mother yelling at each other.

Mother also complains that when I'm doing a show I'm "never at home." Theatre is my home! I am at home! A home is where you feel safe and supported and that is definitely not my house. Or pretty much anywhere except theatre. Especially the safe part. I feel like I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, just waiting for the next insult to be thrown. I hate it. Why can't I just be who I want without being reminded that I'm not enough? I know I'm not good enough. I know I need to be better and change things about myself, I just hate it when people remind me of that. Theatre is the only place where no one does. I'm accepted. I feel loved.

I just can't wait to feel like that again.

List of things I can do once I'm free of my mother's control (cont.):

Go up to the mountains

Do theatre whenever I want

***

A/N: Everyone should be able to have something like what theatre is to Kata. Something you love to do more than anything else. Something that makes you feel alive. They should also be allowed to do it. Everyone should be allowed to follow their passions.

If you have something like what theatre is to Kata, what is it?

Thank you for your continuation in reading this story! I really hope you enjoy it and I hope you continue to enjoy it!!!

-Sunny <3