I am glad Fisokuhle caught me before I did anything, I am glad he came in the moment he did. I know I am more troublesome than he can manage I am trying to change that, I want to be a better mom and wife. Yes there are days that are worst than others. There days were I want to end it all, there are days when everything just seems worse, than it actually is. It took me a while to get out of that dark hole I had found myself in, today is one of those days where I am hopeful and looking forward to my future. I am surprised by how my husband has handled the whole thing, he has been there for me during this time, he has been supportive and he always tries by all means to remain positive about everything. For now we decided that my kids stay with my parents till I feel better.
Its been 3 months since the whole thing happened. I am grateful for the husband I have, his patience is something else. It's the little things he does when I am at my worst, the texts he sends when he is away the effort he makes to make me laugh. To be quiet frank my husband isn't funny but he has a great sense of humor and the fact that he tries to make me laugh makes me fall more in love with him, he has this contagious laugh. He even got into the habit of buying me gifts even if it's a card of encouragement, I appreciated that because it somehow made my day. If anyone can put up with me and my nonsense its my husband. He is the one person I can be open and be vulnerable to.
"Sanele I am tired you are cooking today. I've been nursing you for a long time now." He says. We were visiting my parents and our kids. The twins have grown they now can talk, even though I missed their second birthday. "Come on I am also tired we can buy some take away. " I say teasing him, I don't mind cooking for him. "Yoh you are now a fan of take away. It was better when you hated them." He says getting mad. "Ncoa ibaby lami lilambile.(My baby is hungry)" I say to annoy him, I know he hates it when I call him baby. He gives me a death stare. "Hai MaZulu you have started. You like bothering me neh? You don't get peace when you didn't bother me." He says. Fake mad. "Okay I am sorry Myeni wami." I say. He smiles. "I still cant get used to you calling me that." He says blushing.
My husband is cute especially when he is blushing. We are close to home now. "Were you serious about the take away thing?" He asks seriously concerned." I am kidding I will cook." I say and he smiles. Dvsn conversations in a dinner plays this song can be interpreted in a lot of ways, one can say this song is based on a heartbreak where one realizes that they have or what they are about to lose and they don't want to let go of the love they have. To me, well to us this song is about us going through this rough time, this painful time together my heart is his and his heart is mine I need it, and he never lets me go this alone we are together in this tough time. I just need him to hold onto me through all this, I know I will be okay and things will get better than they are. I remember the first time we heard this song on the radio after my first miscarriage.
He looks at me as this song is playing. He sings the song and his singing actually not bad and its not really good, but I wont tell him that he will be singing the whole week. "You have me listening to such songs, I could be playing deep house right now or better yet Abdulla Ibrahim, but here I am listening to RnB." He says with a huge smile on his face. "I didn't force you to listen to my music you now steal my USB with my compilations, meaning you love this music." I say, "That's because I want us to bond over this music its actually better than the music you sometimes listen to. I cant stand listening to people who swear and who gloat about having a lot of money." He says. He has pure dislike for rap and Hip hop. He just tolerates it because his wife happens to listen to it. I roll my eyes because he will turn this to a lecture.
He parks in at our home and there is Misokuhles' car and a car we don't recognize, it has a KZN plate. "Who do you think it is? Zenala? What is Miso doing here isn't he supposed to be in Free State?" I ask. "I have no idea Sanele I am in the dark like you." He says looking concerned. We get out the car and he takes our bags with. I follow behind him. We get in and his parents are here. What???? His mom is cooking something in the kitchen, okay I hope no drama erupts today because the last time I was insulted, and Fiso and Miso said somethings to their father. I was having a great day, till now. Misokuhle is sitting on the couch and he does not look too happy with his parents presence here.
We greet and we walk to our bedroom confused. No one is talking I change into a maxi dress and I wear a jacket since it's a bit chilly today. I put a beanie on my head I recently cut my hair so its easier than trying to tie a headscarf. I walk out and my husband is already sitting with his twin and father and they seem to be discussing something important. Okay I have to face my mother in law, I join her in the kitchen and she looks at me. "You now look like someones' wife not a teenager." She says I knew she had nothing good to say. "Do you need my help?" I offer. "No don't worry its almost done anyway. How have you been?" She asks. Okay this is weird she is never nice to me what's going on? "I have been okay. Thank you for asking." I reply. " Losing babies is not easy so if you want to talk I am here, I know the pain never goes away but when you talk about it becomes better." She says and how does she know about all this? "Thank you but Fiso has been there for me thank you." I say and I sit down she continues cooking.
"I am sorry." She says out of nowhere. Lol I am hearing my own things. I continue with playing with my phone. "I have never treated you well since you married Kuhle, and for that I am sorry. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me." She says. Wow that was unexpected. "Its okay ma." I say. I forgive her for treating me badly but I cant just forgive what she did to my husbands, when Fisokuhle tells me his childhood stories you can tell it still hurts him. I cant stand seeing the hurt in his eyes when he talks about his childhood, but that's not my place to say anything about that. I will just take her apology as it is. Bhekizwe calls us into the living room.
I sit next to my husband who is looking calmer than when we first came in and Misokuhle looks better than before. "MaZulu I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to you for how I treated you in our last encounter. I was wrong to accuse you, please forgive me Mageba." He apologizes. What world did I wake up in? I am shocked I don't say a thing. "Sanele." Fiso calls my name out bringing me back to the land of the living. "Its okay baba, I know it took a lot from you to finally come apologize." I say. He breathes in relief. He looks back to his sons. "Fisokuhle and Misokuhle again I am sorry, I know I have done a lot of unforgivable things to you. I am going to do everything you need me to do to fix the mess I have created in your lives." He says and it looks like they have forgiven him. That's the thing Fiso and Miso are too forgiving and too kind, I am surprised they forgave him that easily.
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IMPUMELELO
General FictionA young lady falls in love with a young man who loves her dearly. They adore each other and they will do anything to protect each other from anything that may come between them, but what if what comes between them is them, their families both living...
