IMPUMELELO

Chapter 38

I am in this cell with some women, they aren't as scary as I thought how women in jail should be. These are actually women with families. I have been here since yesterday they moved me to Gauteng because the crime I am charged with happened in Gauteng. I have another day here Monday is a public holiday so Tuesday is when I will appear before the court. So yeah all this is messed up. Oh I was listening to this lady tell her story about why she is here. She shot her abusive husband who is in hospital now. She is telling us how she wanted him dead. I have been quiet since I got here, I don't want to say anything that might incriminate me.

So I am charged alone, because apparently they 'found' a print that matches mine on the phone of the Doctor and all this while they couldn't find a matching print till they uploaded prints from almost 20 to 25 years ago on their new system and there was a print they were looking for. F*ck that print only came to existence because when I was 16 and was still going through my 'rebellious' phase, Tumelo and I crashed his dads' car into a mans' wall in a suburb. His father 'sorted' it out and we walked away without any criminal records because I was driving under the influence and we both didn't have a license. Tumis' dad kept this under wraps because he knew my father would make a fuss about this.

It is funny decisions from my past are catching up to me. Oh also tracing back to that day where he tried to force himself on me, the Doctors' movement show that he did stop at Misokuhle and Zenalas' house. They even linked that Miso and my husband are brothers which might mean I was also in that house, the day the monster took his last breath. So yeah its not looking too good for me and turns out the Doctors' brother is the station commander here, so he definitely wants to bury me. He has been visiting me here in my cell while refusing that I see my husband or any visitors, besides my lawyer.

"So wena whats your story? You have been quiet ever since we got here." This lady I think her name is Helen, she is the oldest her. She was arrested for stealing at some supermarket. According to her, stealing was her last resort, she needed to feed her kids so she did what she thought would be better. "I am arrested for murder." I answer I have nothing to say other than that. "Wow so you are carrying the heaviest charge, you look way too innocent than all of us here kanti you are arrested for murder. I always say don't trust the quiet one. You look like you were arrested for minor crimes you know property damage or something similar not murder." Helen says. I chuckle at what she just said.

The commander is back. Here we go again. "I hope you had a beautiful night here. Surely you miss your comfortable bed, with warm shower water and the works, breakfast in bed by your hubby." He says looking at me, and the ladies are staring at me. I don't think what he is doing is legal can he do this? He opens the door for me. "We are taking you for further questioning. " He says. He is lying I know it. We get in the interrogation room and he sits facing me. "My brother loved you so much dear, he always talked about you he even bought a ring to ask for your hand at some point, but you were ashamed of him because you didn't want dear 'hubby' to find out you were cheating on him. " He says.

I am confused. WTF is he even talking about? I never even dated the doctor. I hated him. I look at the man in front of me confused. "He told us he was serious about you only if you could have seen how he spoke about you. We have never seen him so sprung. You had to kill him for what, because you didn't want your husband finding out you were having an affair. You are such a vile woman. You look innocent but you are the devils' incarnate. You b*tch." He says insulting. Okay I have never been this confused. "Haibo Nkosi what are you doing to my suspect?" Says Detective Mathebula the detective who arrested me.

"This is none of your business Mathebula. This b*tch killed my brother, she deserves to rot in jail and I will make sure of it. She will deliver this baby in jail and she will never see it grow up, like my brother will never see his daughter grow up." He says shouting at me. Mathebula comes closer because I guess he can see that I am intimidated by this mans' presence. "I promise you, you will rot in jail that's the least I can do for him. You know that my family is always crying because you took him from us. You took the person who kept our family together. He was a good man and he didn't deserve to be put in a garbage bin plastic like that, he was an amazing father, brother, and son to our parents. You took that away from us. " He says. Okay why is he humanizing him?

He doesn't know that this man tried to rape me, this man was stalking me. That man harassed me continuously at work. He isn't good. He was the evil that we didn't need in the world. He was sick, he told his family I was his girlfriend? That just goes on to show he was delusional. I don't want to feel guilty about this, I refuse to see him as human. To me he was a monster who traumatized me nothing about him was good. I mean I had gotten rid of all this guilt I cant have it back. We got cleansed for his death, I had gotten rid of this monster. He was at peace he was in his resting place. "I am talking to you. Don't just ignore me. Tell me why did you kill my brother like that?" He says and I keep quiet. He drags me by the dress I am wearing.

My lawyer then walks in. "What are you doing to my client?" he asks. The detective looks nervous now and this man is still holding my dress. "Let her go." He says with a stern voice. He lets me go. He looks at me then my lawyer. "Are you okay?" Sakhisizwe Zulu my lawyer asks. Yep my surname is too popular, its almost everywhere like Ndlovu and Dlamini. I am not even related to him, by blood anyway. "Yeah I am fine Sizwe, just startled." I say. "You ever touch my client like that there will be a problem, what is she even doing here? Aren't you the one in charge on the investigation?" He asks. The commander leaves us like that and Mathebula is the one left to answer Sakhisizwe. They start talking and I am not interested in whatever they are talking about.

***

I am out on bail and I have been home for the past week and well as one can assume my family has been calling none stop, Lwandle feeling guilty kept saying its his fault that he didn't wipe the prints properly when he was disposing of the monsters' belongings. Misokuhle and Fisokuhle on the other hand were feeling even more guilty because they thought they had cleaned out all the evidence and nothing was leading to me. They never saw this coming, its not their fault but they behave as if its their fault. Its no ones' fault. My lawyer has convinced me that this case wont go to trial, and I should trust him. He is a good lawyer so why not. I just came from the doctor because Fisokuhle wont stop pestering me to get a check up, after my 'traumatic ' experience. He wants to make sure that I am fine, I get that he cares and all but yoh its annoying.

"I told you the baby is fine." I say. "I just wanted to make sure that you guys were okay, there is no crime in that." He says defeated. I start crying. Okay that has been happening a lot. "I don't deserve you Fisokuhle. I have been trouble from day one. I don't know but I feel like your life was fine before you met me, and after I was part of your life its like I flipped everything in your life." I say while crying. "I will tell you what I always tell you when something happens, you have made my life better than I would ever wish for, you have given me a family, you are my safe space and yes you do have problems, you make mistakes but that only means you are human and I am okay with that its not like I am perfect." He says. I honestly feel sorry for him because its me with problems here its always something with me.

"Stop making me laugh, you are the only one with problems?" He asks. That means I said that aloud. "You have been there for me when that saga with my family was happening, me trying to deal with loss of my fiancé you were understanding, my ancestors we punishing you for some weird reason instead of them punishing the people who are directly involved with the past, that was my burden and many other things I don't want us to mention but that's what marriage is about, supporting each other through these trying times. I married you because I love you and I love all of you ." He says. I don't reply I just stay in his arms. "I love you too Fisokuhle and thank you for being patient with me." I say.