Jegulus - I'll be good

Part Twenty-Seven

Now enjoy James being gay xD After this part I only have one left that's finished, this makes me sad tbh xD.

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Merlin's sake, Regulus was staring at him. Even though James followed the wizard chess game at the other table, he felt his eyes on him, not just for a moment, for plenty of minutes and that was why he had to look away. He couldn't say for sure why he did – maybe he just had a stain on his face or something like that – but it made his whole body tingle, and increased his nervousness. If it wouldn't be himself, he would almost find it amusing. He wasn't this nervous when he finally went on his first date with Lily, even though he remembered being very dramatically about it – Sirius dramatically – and he had been worried to sweat like a marathon runner in the middle of summer, it was different to now. Maybe because it was a boy, maybe because he didn't dare to hope for all the reasons he could be staring at him like that.
But when the game ended, he had to look back at the young Black, who now gladly, also stopped staring at him, and he could swear to see his face being darker, just quite a little bit.

As they left the inn, he pulled up the collar of his cloak. In the good hour they spent inside, it really became colder a lot. Grey sky too. He side eyed Regulus, being slightly worried of this slender little person being carried away by the gusts of wind that came up every now and then. Regulus' top of head just reached his shoulders, being a head smaller than the Gryffindor, so he thought of him being compact. Although he didn't dare to say that out loud, the Slytherin might end up hexing his ear off or something like that.
"So, Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop first?", Regulus asked and looked up at him, his grey-blue eyes reminding him of a sea during a storm. Like another indicator of how silent waters were deep. He was very sure that it fit to the Black.
"Yep, exactly. Won't take long, I don't linger around there. It's not the Quidditch shop after all", James grinned and stretched his body for a moment. He really needed to get back into training, break of a week and he felt rusty already.
"Didn't think you would. Quills aren't that interesting", Reggie replied now amused and shoved his hands into the pockets of his cloak, shortly scowling at the sky. Like he was mad at it for changing the weather.
"Hey, are you still playing violin?", James changed the subject the next second, "we should maybe play together some time. Well, I'd play piano, but you know what I mean. Haven't had a good jam session in years." And he knew that Regulus was fantastic. He had always enjoyed hearing him at the galas and the few times they had played together back then. The young Slytherin had always been very eager and usually ended their pieces with a grumpy look at him, which James found rather funny. As if he had been mad for having to play with him or for James being quite a decent pianist.
"That came out of nowhere", Regulus pointed out amused, "but of course. Why not. Remind me in summer break..oh..wait..you don't have a summer break anymore."
"Thank you for reminding me of that", James sighed deeply, "you're really doing a good job destroying my youth." He laughed and nudged the younger one, before quickly hopping into the shop as the younger one insisted to wait outside. He quickly chose a new quill and paid for it, it didn't take more than four minutes to come back outside.
Regulus seemed deeply in thoughts again and it was James' venture to stare at him. Which he definitely enjoyed, because the Slytherin was a great view. His skin had this white tone, almost like the snow, which was a bit of a surprise for a Quidditch player. His dark hair was untypical long for him, in the last years he had always kept it neatly short, but now it almost fell down to his chin in subtle waves, looking soft like cotton. His bright eyes were clever and mirrored the old soul living in his body, accompanied by subtle dark circles. Quite full lips sat in the androgynous face, and a single mole was placed on his left side, a bit higher than his jawline. Even now, leaning against the wall, he had a very elegant way of doing so and it just fit to how elegant he moved in general. Yep, James was doomed and he was fully aware of that. But now that he told Lily about it, he didn't feel as guilty as he did before.
As he snapped back from admiring him, he realised that Reggie still hadn't noticed his arrival and went over to tap against his shoulder – which got him a wand shoved at his throat in a split second. His heartbeat stopped for a moment and he blinked at Regulus: "Easy there..wow you're quick."
The Black stared at him with wide eyes and quickly lowered his arm: "I...fuck sorry, James. Sorry, I didn't want to..I was in thoughts and I..are you hurt?"
Regulus sounded a bit panicky, so the Potter didn't hesitate another moment and cupped his face with both hands: "Reg, it's okay, yeah? Nothing happened, nobody is hurt. It's alright. Do you hear me?" His thumbs gently stroked over his cheeks in order to comfort him, but he had to admit that this situation felt overwhelmingly intense. He was so close, all he would need to do was to lean forward and he could brush Regulus' lips. The possibility was there and it made his heart race. But he kept himself together. It would be awful to take advantage of Regulus' being upset. At least his attempt seemed to work, the younger one calmed down and closed his eyes for a moment and James was almost convinced that he leaned into the touch. But then it was gone, the Slytherin took a step back and smiled shyly: "Thank you..sorry for being such a handful."
James laughed: "That's fine. I've got two hands, so I can deal with that quite well. Your reflexes are splendid."
Regulus hid his face behind his hands and started to laugh, still sounding a bit shaky: "You can't make this up, right? Can only happen with me around."
The Potter sighed relieved, more than glad that Regulus seemed quite alright now again. He watched him putting the wand back into the holster and rubbing over his face.
"You still want to go for that walk?", the Gryffindor queried the plan, maybe Regulus' mood for that died after this little incident. He would understand it.
"It's alright. We can still go", the Slytherin slowly nodded and already paced forward, straightening his shoulders like trying to erase this for him surely embarrassing moment from his own memory. James followed him after a moment and it stayed silent between them once more. He didn't try to force a conversation and rather gave Reg space to collect himself again. Now and then his eyes wandered to the shop windows, watching what they've got and soon they left the village behind them.
"What is it like? To kiss someone?"
Regulus' voice was so quiet that he barely missed his question. And it surprised him so much, that he didn't know what to say for the first moment.
"You don't know?", he asked a bit cautiously and caught up the few steps to Reg. He really didn't expect that. Sure, the Slytherin was quite reserved, but he was polite and charming, wasn't he? Surely he had some girls being interested into him.
"No", Reggie gave back and didn't even turn red at it, "I didn't have time nor interest for these kind of things until..recently. I mean, technically I'm going to marry Calliope Selwyn, this has been set up when we were five, and like..I maybe should kind of know what I'm getting myself into, right?"
The words came out rather quick, like he just wanted to have them out and not to start over again if he got stuck at it. And in all honesty, he didn't look any blithe about these facts.
James frowned and shoved his glasses back up his nose: "You don't really want that, do you? You can tell me the truth."
The Slytherin strained his jaw and pressed his lips into a thin line: "No. No I don't, but it doesn't matter, right? Because it just doesn't matter what a kid wants. The bloodline is important, the reputation is important. Almost every marriage is just set up for the sake of what's good for both sides."
Sometimes James really forgot that. His parents were different and even though purebloods, always wanted James to be happy and if he ended up marrying a muggle. A sting of pain shortly made him breathless when he realised that they wouldn't be there to see him getting married. He shook that off and focused on here and now.
"You don't have to do that, little Black. I know that you've been raised to, but you know..you absolutely have the right to be happy. Your goal in life shouldn't be to bow to your parents' wishes and you did that more than often enough in the past. Don't you think you deserve to do something that's just for you? That's good for you?", he asked softly, but firmly and climbed on the fence that separated the grounds around the Shrieking Shack from the trail.
"My plan is to stab a knife into their backs with what I want to do to the Deatheaters, Potter. I'm sure that falls out of being obedient to my parents more than enough", Regulus pointed out quite dryly and crossed his arms in front of his chest, almost looking like was about to pout and James had a hard time not laughing about it.
"Yes, but are you really going to spend your whole life with someone you don't love, maybe don't even like, just because they want it? Look at Sirius, he ditched everything that was expected from him and he's happier than ever", he reminded him. The fact that Regulus was up to settle for a life that wasn't close to what he deserved didn't sit well with him at all. Maybe he was a bit protective towards him, but the boy had so much potential, he didn't want him to throw his life away.
Regulus huffed and looked at the ground: "I don't know what else to do, okay? I haven't planned my life differently than from what they wanted until a few months ago and I don't have answers to everything yet."
"Fair enough", Prongs had to admit and smiled at him, "then let's start with the question what you want."
"I can't have what I want anyway, so why bother?", Regulus retorted quickly, with his cheeks colouring again and he didn't look into James' direction.
The Potter stopped short and squinted his eyes about that. There were two possibilities for his behaviour, right?
Number one: he was talking about Lily and since he was her boyfriend, of course he felt uncomfortable talking to him in that matter.
Number two...
"Regulus Black, are we talking about you being interested in me?", he heard himself asking. It was not what he had planned to ask, he had planned to ask about Lily, but his lips had a different plan it seemed. He heard his blood rushing in his ears, looking at him with a pounding heart and not entirely sure, what he wanted the answer to be.