Jegulus - I'll be good

Part Thirty

Wohooo, I actually finished a part and you get it fresh from my mind! xD Screw a regular schedule, I'll just upload whenever I have one finished. 
I'm very grateful for your understanding. Also, thank you for 64k reads and 2,2k votes, you're the best ♥

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Regulus didn't go to class or anywhere else for two days. He only left to wander off the Room of Requirements, so he could hide in there and wouldn't need to leave it for anything. He felt ashamed for his stupid overreaction, like what did he expect how James would react? Throwing confetti or something? And his pride didn't let him step up for his embarrassing reaction of running off, although he was almost sure that James even would be understanding about that, because he always was.
With a groan he kicked one of the pillows beneath his feet and rolled on his back, staring at the ceiling. How much longer could he stay here? Sooner or later his food and beverages would go empty and that was one thing that didn't just appear in the Room of Requirements. Even magic had limits.
And if he missed too many classes, he would fall behind and that would be bad for his grades and even in all that chaos he cared for that too much to not care.
"I'm acting like Sirius", he finally recognised and sat up, "this has to stop." He was definitely more mature than Sirius, and he should go back to acting on that too.
He got on his feet and collected the things he had somehow spread in the whole room. Books, herbs, food, everything was shoved into his bag. For someone who was usually so smart, he could be really dumb. He would need to talk to James and to apologise. For running off, but also for liking him and making things weird. Just because the Potter didn't have a problem with his two best friends dating, didn't mean that he had to feel comfortable with being targeted too. Regulus stopped his thoughts and slapped his head internally. He really needed to stop thinking in that way, like it would be something disgusting or bad. But if everyone told you that, it was hard to let go of this mindset. He wished he could talk to Sirius about this. But that would have a clearly negative impact on their relationship, which was still on very shaky grounds after just starting to talk to each other again. Sometimes being a loner wasn't the best. His eye shortly stopped at the wall he had painted on in the last two days. His skills were rusty, as his parents always told him that he shouldn't waste his time with that, but sometimes it helped him to ground himself and clear his head. With a sigh he cleaned the walls from the obscure images of dead trees and graveyards, and the opposite wall from meadows and Hogwarts grounds. Just in case that someone accidentally found the same room as he did. Not a very high chance of that happening, but who knew.

With his stuff pressed against his chest, he left the room walking on his toes to be as silent as possible. Even though he decided that he was done with hiding, he didn't want anyone to see him like that – with hair looking like a bird's nest, not gotten into the shower in two days, with clothes that absolutely, definitely weren't made to be seen by anyone.
Trying to figure out what should happen next, he walked around the corner to the stairs and almost collided with no one else than James. For a moment he froze on the ground, that was unexpected...and he had hoped to have a few hours to prepare before running into him again. Before he could get a word out, James already started to speak.
"Wait, please don't run away", the Gryffindor said calmly and reached out his arm, but pulled it back the next second, as if he was unsure what to do. If that was the case, it made them two. And even though the embarrassment crept back up at him and he wanted nothing more than running away from the situation and from being seen like that, he forced himself to stay right here.
"I...I'm sorry that I disappeared the other day", Regulus did the most important thing first, "that wasn't very polite and probably not fair either."
"Yeah, it was really rude", James agreed without missing a beat, "but, I also can understand it, I guess. I mean it's a big deal to drop something like that and-"
Regulus didn't want to hear what could come next, so he interrupted him: "I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. And I fully understand that this is just on me and I don't expect anything, I mean, you're with Lily and I'm not an idiot. If the topic wouldn't have turned into that direction, I would have never said anything, so maybe... I don't know, can we just forget it? Go back to...before?" He heard that his voice sounded pleading, but he didn't care about it. If he had to plead to keep a friend, he would do it kneeling if necessary.
"I have to disagree", the Gryffindor responded and Reggie's heart dropped. He knew he messed it up, but still had a little bit hope left, but as he opened his mouth to say more, James held up his hand to keep him silent.
"I have to disagree. You are a bloody idiot, Black and I'm starting to think that it really runs the family", James continued and leaned against the wall, a small smirk on his lips, probably because he was observing the black leisure suit he was wearing, looking like he turned into a freaking stuffed animal and the small embroidered dragon on the left chest side didn't make it more elegant either.
If he would drop dead right here and now, Regulus wouldn't mind.
"If you let me finish what I want to say, you might find that it's not a reason to panic in the end", the Gryffindor said a bit more serious, "I have to apologise too. I should've given you any reaction to stop you from jumping into conclusions. I must admit I'm not as smart as everyone thinks. And yes, I was a bit overwhelmed. But not for the reasons you might think apply. Do you really think I'm disgusted? My two best friends are dating in case you forgot. One of them is your own brother."
Regulus could feel his face heating up about the question, as it just reminded him of how silly he had really been: "Yes...No, I mean...it was stupid to think that. I just...well I mean it's different when it's about yourself, isn't it? I've seen people's reactions after my brother had come out. Putting him into the same category like child molesters and acting like he would try to...to...seduce every man that walks past him. And all these things. Like, I know you don't see it like that, but I kind of switched into panic mode or something. That's definitely not your fault." And even now he couldn't completely turn off these thoughts. It bothered him so much just from second hand experience and he couldn't imagine how terrible it must affect Sirius and Remus, yet they didn't hide anything from the world.
James nodded slowly, his face serious and concerned – of course, he had seen all these things against his friends too.
"Yeah, I know. People are stupid and there will always be some of them. But I was overwhelmed because I didn't expect it, even though Moony said it is kind of...well, his original words were How can you wear glasses and still be blind as a bat?"
Reggie let out a deep and long sigh. He really thought he had been subtle about it. Uh Oh. When it was so obvious, it could mean that everyone else would notice it too. Sirius – oooh he didn't even want to imagine his reaction – and any deatheater kid. He felt very sick in his stomach all of a sudden and had to sit down on the floor. Why was it that whenever one problem was solved, a new one had to occur?
"I thought I was subtle about it. This creates problems on a whole different problem", he mumbled and looked up at the Potter. He really shouldn't have crossed his path more often than was necessary.
"It doesn't create more problems that already exist. What big difference makes it for people that already make drama of certain people just talking to each other?", James shrugged and honestly, Regulus wished he could see it that easy too. But he also didn't have the energy to discuss about it right now.
"Okay. Whatever, we both apologised, can I go to my dorm now or do I still have to stand here and risk being seen like that?", the Slytherin wanted to know frowning, it was getting cold in the hallway and next to that, they were standing around at the top of a staircase, which meant that at any given time, someone could come across them.
"Just another moment, okay? I want to clear things before my courage skips out on me", the headboy blurted out quickly and Reg had to bite back the comment that he shouldn't beat about the bush then. Wouldn't be very nice to say that. So he just nodded and gave him a sign to go on and got on his feet again, trying to shove away the wave of anxiety that attempted to settle in for the last few seconds.
James hesitated for a moment and ran his hand through his curly hair, like he was trying to decide what to say...or to say anything at all. He could really drive Regulus nuts with this behaviour. He knew that James just tried to be considerate and find the right words, but sometimes he clearly didn't have the patience for that.
"Another reason why it hit me to the point where I was speechless is, that it's not one sided", the Potter finally let out cautiously.
Regulus blinked confused. Repeated the words in his head two, three, four times. Not one sided. He let his loaded arms sink: "It's not?" That would be too good to be true, wouldn't it? The little spark of hope grew in a rush and his heartbeat went up so much that he felt a bit dizzy. He was so confused about that all right now. It wasn't one sided, but James had Lily and...was he pranking him??